Why are you so beautiful?

Why do you take my breath away?

How did I get so lucky?

How are you perfect in every single way?

Your laugh should be illegal because it’s so cute

I never want to spend a minute without you

The way you kiss me takes my breath away

Seeing you is the best part of my day

You are so special,

And I’m glad that I can say you are mine

Because when I’m with you

I feel extraordinary

All of the time

* I woke up one morning to this beautifully written poem waiting to be read in my text messages from my equally as beautiful girlfriend. *

She looks up at me and I wonder for the millionth time, “Does she know?”

Does she know that I constantly run my fingers through her hair because it reminds me that she’s still here, she hasn’t disappeared yet

I kiss her forehead because it’s her mind that I’ve fallen in love with

I kiss her cheeks because it’s her smile that lights up my entire life

I kiss her ears because she’s the only one who listens without any judgement

I kiss her forearms because her scars only add to the beauty she possesses

I kiss her chest because it holds her heart, the only thing that can shatter mine

I kiss her stomach because she claims she’s fat so I need to show her that I love her for what she has

I kiss her thighs, not because I want to devour what’s between them, but because I respect it

I kiss her calf’s because they’re strong and are willing to carry me when I can’t get up

But ...

I’m terrified of her feet because if they ever choose to walk out of my life

Life as I know it will be hell

* In dedication to me, my girlfriend wrote this and gave me permission to post. I hope the people who read this love it just as much as I do because she is very gifted and talented and this right here shows *

I hate that I miss her

I hate that I still love her

It’s better this way

Hoping it’ll get better will just cause more heartache

It’s a lost cause

Sometimes two hearts just don’t love the same

We’ve lost sight of what it really means to be a family

Blood isn’t always thicker than water

I’ve lost all hope that she’ll come around

I also can’t promise or guarantee that I’ll be here if she does

Life goes on

Things were said that can’t be taken back

Things were done that can’t be undone

I so desperately want her in my life

But she’s not good for me

She’s lost sight of my best interest and well-being

I just hope somewhere in her bitter cold heart she knows I still love and miss her

I can’t promise or guarantee that the love I still have for her will forever and always be here

But for now it is

At least I still have a grandmother

Some aren’t as fortunate

So for that I’m going to love her as long as I still have her

Even if she is a stranger to me now

“I’m Fine” written backwards is “Save Me”

Nobody knows that “I’m Fine” is a silent cry for help

Nobody knows the real reason I take such long showers is because I cry in the shower so no one can hear me

No, you have it all wrong ....

I don’t cut myself because I’m trying to kill myself

I cut myself because I’m fighting to stay alive

Nobody knows I lie awake at night drowning in my own tears

Nobody knows I cry myself to sleep

They know my name, not my story

They see my smile, not my pain

They notice my cuts, not my scars

They’ve heard what I’ve done, not what I’ve been through

I’m the girl with the mind that never sleeps

Nobody knows I’m hanging on for dear life to a non-existent relationship with my mother because I long for a mother daughter relationship

In one breath, I hate her

I hate her with a passion & wish she’d die & put me out of my misery

But in another ....

I feel obligated to love her unconditionally because she’s my mother & I only get one

Nobody knows that I’m cut into so many pieces that there isn’t enough of me to be put back together

Nobody knows what happens behind closed doors

Nobody knows that I hide behind a fake smile

Nobody knows because nobody cares enough to ask in fear they’ll get more than what they bargained for

My method of choice ...

Hanging!

It’s quick, easy & almost painless

89.5% lethality

The odds of succeeding are in my favor

One a scale of 0 to 100, 0 being no pain & discomfort & 100 being the most pain & discomfort ...

25.5 agony

Not completely painless but bearable

7 minutes

Quite efficient

Unconscious in 15 seconds

After fainting

2 minutes

Death sets in

4 minutes

Extremely severe brain damage

10 minutes

Officially deceased

I’ll allot myself enough time

It’ll be too late when I’m discovered

D.O.A - Dead On Arrival

Paramedics might attempt to administer CPR

But to no avail

I’m gone