I didn't climb the tallest mountain in the world

And take a selfie at the summit,

I didn't win a gold medal,either,

At this year's Olympics.

I didn't go on Top Model

Or Dancing with the Stars.

But what I did do

Out-did them all.

Today I went shopping

And bought a new belt.

My previous is now too big

Which means a goal has been met.

They say "He will never give you more than you can handle."

Sometimes I feel He has more faith in me than I do myself.

Sometimes it's just too much

I cry silently

Let the tears flow down my face

Breathing labored

Rapid.

I can't do this.

And yet, here I am!

Obstacle after obstacle

Fear and Pain.

Loss.

Failure.

I conquered them all.

He believed in me more than I did myself.

Now I am stronger.

I am wiser.

I am confident!

Sometimes all we need is a little nudge to show us

We could do it all by ourselves.

I saw a mermaid yesterday

Poached upon a sea rock

Brushing her hair and singing melodies 

So sweet and so softly

Her tail gently grazing the water

Not a worry crossed her mind

Just the definition of bliss

A little ray of sunshine 

That keeps hope alive

thoughts suffocate me

silences overwhelm me

the voices in my head i can't escape

when i close my eyes there you are

your beautiful face

so close but far far away

i reach out for you 

longing for your touch

only to be denied your love

chills travel down my spine

tears fill my eyes

oh the aching i feel

inside

emptiness that cant be filled

laughter no longer has a place

joy is no longer here

sometimes i think i hear your voice 

whispering sweet nothings in my ear

only to wake up to what used to be

just a memory of you dear

the last thing you asked me

"will you forget me when im gone" 

never

you made your country proud

but it was time for you to go home

i will miss you forever and always

my protector

my friend

my love

my other half

my happiness

my strength

my everything

Its not you its me...

What we have is a fantasy

It could never be...

I'm sorry but I-

Sometimes words can't express my thoughts

But silence says it best.

Walk away and never look back

I leave with a "Good Day"

Is this what the world has become

A savage land of miscreants

Who couldn't give a damn about the person beside him,

Blood shed over possessions

Over material things

While blood shed from the veins

Of those slain

By the very hands of those in pain

A vicious cycle

Never ending

Those who are suppose to protect us

Are the very people who neglect us

Who murder us and defile our names

Whom we put our faith into blindly

Only to be beaten

And battered

And left out to dry

Like an Outcast

Is my life less significant

That I should be treated as such.

Bruised physically and mentally

Emotionally.

But this is the world I have come to know.

I have learned to accept death

And pain

An everyday emotion

It's normal.

This is what the world had become. 

Sometimes I sit and reminiscence

Hopin',

Wishin', 

Longingin'.

To that time when i was six years old

And had the world to conquer.

One day I was a doctor

Saving lives

A true superhero in disguise. 

A heart beating in my hands

Or a baby beginning their life.

The next day I was an astronaut

Ready to save the planet

From meteors

To Invasions

Or sometimes, 

To see the world from a new perspective.

Here I am

After so many moons

So many birthdays

So many years

And I am not yet a Doctor

Nor an astronaut

Or Superhero.

Has my life been a waste?

What am I to accomplish?

The answer I will never know.

 But I am happy

And hopeful

And free

And that's what life means to me.