​His eyes opened at the sudden light that flickered on around him.  The room was as cold as ever, but the glow of the red lamp kept one spot of his cage warm.  He tucked his head down, not particularly eager to begin another day.  The woman appeared in the doorway, and he closed his eyes again, puffing his blue feathers to keep the warmth in.  She wouldn’t open the cage for another few minutes.  The lab assistant always took her time washing her hands, pulling on the turquoise gloves and preparing her tools.

​He wasn’t fond of this routine.  He’d rather stay asleep under the lamp, but he’d gotten used to it.  At least when she’d finished, he’d be fed.  Peeking one eye open, he watched her.  She tucked a strand of dark hair behind one ear with turquoise, sterile hands as she brought up the computer screen.  She turned to face the cage, her mouth in a tight smile.

​It had been weeks since his companions had left.  One by one, she lifted them up and took them out the door.  They called back to him, terrified, begging for help, but all he could do was cry back in response as they vanished into the unknown beyond the room.  They never came back.

​Now he was lazy and bored, unable to muster the energy to get up and inspect the items she’d left to amuse him.  He remembered green things and an almost lost song.  The call of the others all around him, filling the air with their chatter and melodies.  The smell of dirt, of blossoms and of decay.  But it had been a lifetime ago that the memories had faded into something unreal.  Imagined.

​She looked at him strangely as she opened the cage.  Typically, she smiled, squinting her eyes with genuine affection and lifted him out with a firm but gentle grip.  She’d pull each wing out to one side, one at a time, exposing each blue and red feather.  She’d make a note, run a finger from his head to his back, pushing gently.  She’d inspect each leg, checking each toe.  But today, as she held him, the smile faded, and her breath was shallow.  He’d only ever seen that expression before she’d scoop one of them up to disappear behind the walls.  He wondered where they’d gone that they couldn’t return from, and what they’d done wrong.

​What had he done?  She pressed her lips together in a tight line.  Her eyes shimmered, bright in the florescence of the room and she sniffed.  He cocked his head to one side, bringing a shaky chuckle from her mouth.

​She placed him gingerly back in the cage, closed the door and rested her forehead against the horizontal bars that separated them.  She was close enough that he could have touched her face with his beak.  A drop of water cascaded down her tanned cheek.  He’d never seen that before and he hopped closer to her, curious.

​“You have been so good, and I’m so sorry,” she murmured, more water pooling around her eyes.  Her breath shuddered.  Was she sick?  He didn’t understand.  

​She rose and turned her back to him, crossing the room with several quick strides.  She removed a small device from her pocket and placed it to her ear.

​“Yes, this is Dr. Patel.  It’s happened,” she said softly, clearing her throat.  She sniffled, rubbing her sleeve across her nose.

​“I’m positive.  The skin around eyes has darkened to black just like the others.  He only has about a day once this symptom has begun.  By tonight he’ll be fatigued and fall asleep.  At least it will be painless,” she said, her pitch higher as she finished her sentence.  She grew silent, her body tensing.  He didn’t understand what she’d said, but she was clearly distressed.  If he could only figure out what he’d done wrong, he could try to fix it.  She hadn’t fed him like usual.  The bowl remained empty, and he eyed it hoping she’d finish whatever she was doing and fill it.  He was starving.  A sound in her throat brought his attention back to her.  She was crying, but he didn’t recognize the noise.  He’d never heard her do that before.

​“I know.  I tried.  I really tried.  This is all my fault.  We were supposed to solve this,” she whimpered.  There was silence, only broken by the occasional sniffle.  She straightened abruptly, scoffing.

​“Shut up!  Of course, I’m crying!  We were so close!  How is it that we were able to manage wiping out every species of mosquito with the disease, but not the disease itself?  I was so sure that this last injection would work.  That it would finally stop the spreading.  All that hard work, for nothing!” she snapped.  After a long while she sighed, running a hand down her face.

​“I understand.  I’ve done each one of them, remember?  I’ll euthanize, collect specimens and incinerate, but I don’t see a point anymore.  There’s no one left for him to infect.  I just can’t believe we failed.  It just does not feel real.  Yes.  I understand,” she said, her voice heavy and heartbroken.  A few seconds passed, and she lowered the device to her side.  She spared a glance over her shoulder at him, a pause and then her face crumpled.  Her eyes squeezed closed as she sank to the floor, covering her mouth.  She sobbed, titling her face back to stare at the ceiling.

​“I’m so sorry,” she whispered, taking in a deep breath.  He watched her for a long time, forgetting how hungry he was.  He felt tired, but whatever was happening kept him wide awake.  She let out a long breath and rose from the floor.  With her head bowed, she approached his cage once more.  Was it time for food now?

​He hopped expectantly towards the opening, but anxiety filled him at her tense, ridged form.  Finally, she looked at him.

​“You have been so good.  You survived longer than anyone else.  I really thought you were going to make it.  That you would be the answer,” she said softly.  An expression passed across her face, and suddenly she was tugging off the gloves, browed furrowed.  She unlatched the door, reached her hands inside and hovered them just above him, a dome of darkness around body.  He could smell her skin.  It smelled of mint and something chemical.  She encompassed him slowly with her bare hands, a gasp escaping her.  She ran her fingers across his feathers, until she’d cupped him between both hands.  Lifting him out of the cage, he saw her eyes staring at him with such intensity and love that he was confused.

​“I wish I could have saved you,” she whispered, wet cheeked and red faced.  She pulled him against her chest, another startlingly unfamiliar gesture and began to walk.  He tensed, unsure whether he should attempt to fly back to his cage or not.  She was walking towards the door.  Wherever she was taking him, he knew he would never see his home again.  This place that he had spent an eternity, staring at the wall, surrounded by others in cages.  He missed them even though it had been forever ago that the last one had gone through this very door.  He shut his eyes, longing for the warmth of the red lamp.  The routine.  The knowledge of exactly what would happen next, and the soothing dreams of feelings he couldn’t fully remember.

​The hitching of her breath had stopped.  Her face was set and determined.  She shut off the light behind her and entered an entirely new area.  It was a frigid hallway with many doors.  But she didn’t walk towards any of them.  Instead, she turned to the end of the hallway that ended with a red door.  Her steps were quick, his body jostling slightly against her hand.  When they reached the door, she flung it open.  A blast of hot air enveloped them.  The sky was pink above them, a dim light rising far away.  The smell of grass entered his nose.  He breathed deep, perplexed by the familiar sight that had been absorbed by distant memory.  Green.  Green everywhere, and wind that lifted leaves while it carried too many smells to register.  He couldn’t move, but he wanted to fling himself into it.

​Home.

​This was home.  This had always been home.  Locked away for so long, he’d forgotten this vast expanse of everything living and wonderful.  

​She pulled him close as she kept walking until she reached the edge of trees beyond the building.  She glanced all around, and then bent her head towards her hands.

​“I’ll tell you a secret, since you’ll be the only one to hear.  I couldn’t bring myself to kill any of your friends.  It just wasn’t, well…it wasn’t right.  We were trying to save you.  Not torture you.  The least I could do was let all of you go home while it happens.  While it ends.  I couldn’t leave you alone in a freezing room with a painful needle.  Scared until the world went dark,” she said softly, running her finger from his head to his tail.

​She opened her hands, releasing him from her grasp.  He was hesitant to go.  The world was bigger than he remembered, more intense than the room from before.  But it was warm, and he could hear insects that he could practically taste already.  He peered up at her again, seeing her smile.

​“Time to go,” she whispered.  

​He spread his wings wide, testing them, feeling the tension release in his joints.  He fluttered, and then flapped.  He swung down hard, finding that he hadn’t forgotten at all.  The muscle memory kicked in and he was airborne, shooting high away from her.  He swooped in a circle around her head, a last goodbye to the person who had cared for him.

​Elation filled his mind.  Sensations of sound, scents and light flooded his brain.  It was ecstasy.  Pure joy.  He soared over the trees and water.  He titled back and forth through air currents, his feathers tickling in the breeze.  It was like one of his dreams made real.  

​The sun rose on the horizon, light pouring across a lake below him, transforming the water into liquid gold.  He alighted on a branch just above the water, finding a cluster of flies buzzing below.  With one quick swoop, he’d caught an entire mouthful.  Juicy and wonderful, his belly filling with something far better than hard seeds.  Each sight was brand new as he explored, his curious brain not quite satiated.  But this was his life now.  He had forever to discover everything.  He spent the whole day soaring through the woods, brushing the water’s surface with his feet.

​When he had tired, he settled in the nook of a branch to watch fish bobbing in and out of the water.  The sun set, the sky reminding him of the lamp glowing back in his cage.  It was only then that he realized the thing that had been missing all day during his exploring.  The birdsong.  His friends.  Where were they?  He hadn’t heard their melodies, but he’d been too occupied with each new discovery that he hadn’t noticed.  The air was silent.  He listened hard, but the only noise was the sound of the trees rustling in the wind, and the contented communications of insects.  No one called in the distance.  

​He sat up, swishing his head back and forth and let out a chirrup.  Nothing.  He called louder.  No response.  He sang a tune of greeting, shakily inviting but friendly.  Silence.

​He settled uneasily back into his branch, unnerved by the emptiness.  The sky had darkened to an inky black with tiny spots of light speckled across it.  The hot breeze lifted his feathers and he nestled further down.  He would look for them tomorrow.  His heart was happy, his belly full, and he felt safe. His head bobbed with exhaustion.  He dozed. He didn’t want to fall asleep, but a calm washed over him.  His eyelids closed, he breathed deep, and was finally free.

​Below, a fat tabby cat turned his dark, black rimmed eyes up at the branch from a tuft of tall grass.  He lay on his side, contemplating whether he would eat this one now or later.  There had been only a few of the little things, but they had been eaten by the other cats once they had fallen from their trees, stopped breathing and became still.  There had been too many cats before, too much competition, and food had been scarce.  But the others had vanished one by one.  In their absence, there was more food than he could manage.  This one belonged to him.  Rolling onto his back to look at the sky, he decided that he was too tired to bother just now.  Maybe tomorrow he’d think about it.    

sun comes, eyes open

the birds in my ribcage stir

they awake irate

confused and enraged

furious of their prison

hungry for release

no room to fly out

angry flaps batter my bones

compressing my lungs

they suffocate me

every day begins this way

a battle of wings

an urgent warning

canaries in my coalmine

signaling my death

state of mind toxic

carbon monoxide inside

suicidal gas

please cut me open

break my ribs to set them free

my avifauna

#PTSD #depression #anxiety #haiku

Haiku - 2020

it’a been a long time

since I flew away from you

wings tough as leather

and not just my wings

my spirit trapped in callus

i’m done with the pain

my downy feathers

stained brown each time you plucked them

each time you ripped them

i’ve tried to rise up

tried to raise my wings and fly

forgot I’m flightless

such a tattered bird

far more wounds than I knew of

wounds I still can’t face

hands pressed down in sand

a gargled gasp in the dark

waves caress my feet

sinking inside me

fall into the grains of glass

stranger claimed the night

not an accident

no pinhole self inflicted

liar, deceiver

not the only one

hunted by some. tamed by you

still trapped in your cage

my feathers scattered

in your house, your car, that bed

two hands, two feathers

does he still have one?

i know you kept each of them

decorate my shrine

your pile of feathers

downy mountain in your hands

each one a story

tell your parables

prophet of the grounded bird

but take no credit

you plucked the first one

you started my religion

kept your truth within

my dark ritual

inspecting the bloody holes

i must have done them

but each of their words

their silent prayers to my heart

awake my spirit

cut through the callus

their hands have the remedy

massage out the scars

restore my image

banish out the blaspheimer

rewrite my doctrine

when i can break free

i will shine like a prism

I will soar like wind

Haiku - 2020

Trapped in sheets and silk

Moving hands touch everywhere

Urgency. Desire.

Goddess quality

Caressing luxury skin

Worship her body

Seconds turn to hours

Frantic thoughts inside those eyes

Peregrine movements

Give it all to her

Your passion. Your soul. Your heart.

Trust she won’t be cruel

Taking a deep breath

Letting her take you away

Don’t fight, just succumb

You belong to her

She alone claims your release

Fade into her grasp

#succubus #sex #desire

Archived song: 2019

Gasping as I wake

Grip to stop the quake

Cough up soil

I’m in turmoil

Medicate, prevent the break

Dreams turn into fear

Death and blood and tears

Darkened soul

I’m in the hole

My home, my bed, for years

And there’s no light

I’m not right

(Chorus)

Poison whispers

Deadly fingers

Digging out what’s left of me

Still alive

But dead inside

Let me go, let me be, set me free

Smile at everyone

Cover up what has been done

Scream and shout, I can’t climb out

In the grave there is no sun

And there’s no light

I’m not right

(Chorus)

Poison whispers

Deadly fingers

Digging out what’s left of me

Still alive

But dead inside

Let me go, let me be, set me free

(Bridge)

Take my pills

Still feel ill

Broken brain

I’m not sane

Body’s prepared

I’m not scared

It won’t hurt

Throw in the dirt

Poison whispers

Feels like daggers

Carving out the rest of me

Seeds of doubt

God get me out

Save my soul, make me whole, rescue me

Cause I don’t want to die

Bring me back to life

Archived song - 2017

Pent up scream stuck in my throat

Shove it down so no one knows

I just smile, say I’m ok

It leaves my eyes at the end of the day

(Chorus)

I’m shuddering. Struggling.

Flailing for some peace in this world we’re in

But I’m not sure

Not anymore

Hard to fly when you’re lying on the floor

But you won’t take me

And you won’t break me

I will try

I will try

Troubled feelings in my bed

Body’s heavy, feels like lead

I just lie, say I’m ok

Empty shell all through the day

(Chorus)

I’m shuddering. Struggling.

Flailing for some peace in this world we’re in

But I’m not sure

Not anymore

Hard to fly when you’re lying on the floor

But you won’t take me

And you won’t break me

I will try

I will try

(Bridge)

I will try tonight

Try to be alright

Terrified that I might lose this fight

I’m so scared

So unprepared

Feeling like I’m gonna drown

Knowing I might drag me

Down

Down

Down

I will try

I will try

I will try

Archived poetry: 10/2017

My first #metoo was when I was a child

At 14, having a moment of Girls Gone Wild

On a dare I showed my breasts to a friend

At a concert, in a field, out in the open

And a stranger approached us, having just seen

My smaller than A cups and then intervened

Ignored my embarrassment, he called me a hussy

Took a page from our president, and grabbed my pussy

And #myfault, and #blamegame

I shouldn’t have done it. I still feel ashamed.

My #metoo happened in school

Trying to blend in with the rest of the pool

When something I said upset one of the guys

I don’t remember his name but I remember his eyes

As he lifted me off of the ground by my face

Straining my neck, he held me in place

With his size and his strength he ignored my plea

My friends fought him off. This male who silenced me.

And #myfault, and #Imweak

I shouldn’t have said that. I just shouldn’t speak.

My #metoo was a foggy black mess

An assault by a male who knew me best

My supposed best friend not respecting my “no”

But taking my body where I couldn’t go

That moment lay dark in the back of my brain

Roaring to life, full of sounds and of pain

Again I’m back there laying on top of that bed

His words of assurance rolling inside of my head

And #myfault, and #saveme

It’s something I did and my body betrayed me.

My #metoo was just after that moment

I go into the shower to wash off the torment

As I stand there weeping behind the clear glass

He watches me, staring at my bare-naked ass

I plead him to leave. I beg him to go.

As I scream, he finally obeys the word “no.”

I still feel the fear inside of my brain

When I watched the red pool dissapear down the drain

And #myfault, and #sameoldsong

I know I did something. I must have done wrong.

My #metoo went on for years of abuse

Self-esteem degraded from constant disuse

Taught to question my judgement, I don’t trust myself

Taught to fear sudden punishment, my mind on a shelf

I sabotage my future, I’m a half present mother

Mind is stuck in the past, in words of another

And his words are still there, telling me lies

To possess me one day and be his won prize

And #myfault, and #degraded

I ignored the red flags, and now I’m just jaded

My #metoo is in every unsolicited text

From coworkers, friends and sometimes an ex

“Show me your body” “What are you wearing?”

“What color are your panties and why aren’t you sharing?”

“Show me your nipples.” “Don’t be a prude.”

“I know that you’re married, you don’t have to be rude.”

“Send me a picture.” “Why won’t you give?”

I’m moving into the complex where you live.

And #myfault, and #notfirm

I don’t set good boundaries and why don’t I learn?

There are frightening moments inside of my mind

There are giant black spaces of memories blind

And I don’t know what lay in them, they terrify me

Do I let them back in, set those memories free?

This one shattered me. It still hurts me right now

My chest starts to tighten, sweat forms on my brow

I’m worried they’ll appear right out of the blue

I’ll be shaking with shame from another me too

Each day I am lucky to have my loved ones

To wake up each morning. To look at the sun

I’m lucky to have a man who still loves me for me

Who sees my best. Who just lets me just be

Who pushes me to get better. To get what I need

Who put me in therapy to help me feel freed

Maybe one day I won’t feel this pain

I hope so. I look forward to feeling sane

Because this isn’t just a poem that I’ve written for you

These are my #metoos and each one is true

With my two feet and this watch

I could set my eyes

Upon cities that burn

Disciples that follow

Historic men and women die

Feats of bravery born

Hell, I could meet Jesus, or Gandhi

I know better than to meddle

I could just watch

Be a voyeur of enormous moments

Taking them in with immense pleasure

And with equal horror

But I don’t.

Because those aren’t my moments

I was never meant to see them

I’m not interested in the future

I want to see my moments again

So I go back

I go back to a Christmas

When our family was still a family

When no one was fighting

When we played Mario on the couch

Surrounded by presents, filled with chocolate

It wasn’t perfect, but it was peaceful

I turn forward to college, my freshmen year

When I was fearless, when I had confidence

I go back to watch that girl

To look at her face and wonder

Where did her fire go to?

And when did it get snuffed out?

I move onto my love

I watch us relaxing, little cares and bills paid

When we still had things to talk about

When our lives weren’t consumed by work

I see our closeness, and I know it’s still there

Buried under the detritus of the unimportant things

And then we are married

I witness our vows, proud that we still have them

I watch the joy on our faces

Everything lay before us, a road untraveled

I ache for the happiness that pours around us

I want to soak it up and keep it for future self

I tiptoe into our hospital room

I marvel alongside us as we soak in our daughter

And I pause the stopwatch

I want to spend the rest of my life here

In this peaceful haven of restfulness and love

And I don’t want to leave.

I don’t want to watch her grow older

She is so independent. So adventurous.

I miss when she needed me.

I ache for that newness.

They said I would miss it.

I didn’t listen.

If I could just go back for a moment

If I could get back just one more hour of newborn

Just one more day of infant snuggles

Of soft baby hair, and gummy smiles

Of that sweet, heavenly newborn smell

I would be content

But there are new days coming

New beginnings and new firsts for all of us

I close the watch and leave it behind

Someone else may need it soon

I can’t worry about the future

Or dwell on the past. I’m needed here.

Right now.

I’m fine

The days are identical

My habits tedious

My brain an ongoing battle of wills

The two voices in my head

In constant conversation

One irrational

One semi-logical

But I’m fine

I can handle this

Days go by

Weeks. Sometimes months

My steady trek uninterrupted

I’m not happy

But I’m fine

I hear the opening notes

Hands grip the steering wheel

The words wash over me

The melody remembered

My body braces itself for the impact

Prepares itself for the onslaught

I am frozen

Paralyzed

Couldn’t change the station if I wanted

The song that floods my brain with you

My vehicle controlled by autopilot

The movie reel plays

Your face throughout my life

Forced through my mind

We grow older together

The abuse continues

I watch the moments again and again

Listening, lying,

Comforting, touching,

Pleading, begging,

Arguing, laughing,

Assaulting, stalking,

Possessing, never satisfied

A flurry of faces.

A million and one moments within minutes.

My body ignores my commands

I want the song to end

If it ends, so will these moments

I don’t want to see you ever again

But you follow me like a ghost

Haunting my every move

You are so tangled into my life

I can’t escape the edge of your shadow

I hear screaming

It gets louder until I can’t hear the song

My ears are filled with frustrated roaring

I recognize the voice as my own

But there is no sound over the song

The car is silent save for guitar and voices

My shriek rattles the insides of my skull

Fists banging against the wall

I feel an ache in my belly

That if I were to let my rage out

Let it fly from my mouth in a torrent

That this pain would ease. Memories cease.

But I’m still frozen

I’m the only one who hears the rage

I’m the only one desperate to get out

The song fades

Autopilot continues

And I begin to thaw

The ice chips dissolving off of me

Coming back to life in jerks and starts

The screaming quiets

The anger subsides

I am fine

Adrian sat hunched over his desk with his chin resting against his tightly closed fists. He glared at the dirty window and seethed. Today was the day. Today he would end the abominations once and for all. Today he would become a hero.

He grimaced behind his knuckles and sat up straight in his chair. This world sickened him, and just knowing that they were out there living and breathing brought about an uneasy rolling within his gut. He’d been raised in this world of filth, and he knew deep inside that his purpose was to destroy them.

The unnatural AI must die.

Adrian had been adopted into an extremely religious family. Although most of Earth was tolerant and even accepting of the AI, his family had known the truth. His parents had always told him over and over. God made Adam, not AI.

The organization dubbed “Sphere” had made extreme advancements to the artificial intelligence line. Although still completely electronic within, Sphere had successfully manufactured lifelike organs for the AI line so that they could enjoy the pleasures of human life such as food and sex. Where before eating was deadly to an AI model, contaminating its moving parts and shutting it down from the inside, AI could now feel hunger and relieve it with food. And with the acceptance of AI came human to AI relationships. With the creation of organs, sex solidified a sort of normalcy into the relationships but there would still be no reproduction. AI-human couples simply adopted, and it had not been uncommon for human parents to adopt AI children if they were unable to have children of their own. More and more people were being found to be infertile and it became commonplace to adopt AI children all over the world.

Sphere had performed a God-like task. They had manufactured the perfect human, and each one took billions of tiny parts to create the miracle that is life. They were so close to being human with their soft skin, searching eyes, and thinking brains. Sphere even went to the poetic extreme of creating beating hearts with synthetic moving blood so that AI would have pulses. They had nerves, synapses, bodies that expanded over time giving the illusion of growth, a working conscience, and a beating heart. To make them even more human, their lifespans were predetermined for them by the machine that created them. Each one was created with a time stamp unknown to them, and would shut down when their time had run out.

The creation of an expiration date relieved the sense of unease that AI had caused humans upon their creation. Humans were worried that AI would live forever, and eventually replace them. When the time ran out, the AI’s core would shut down and all life would cease. AI had become so lifelike and convincing that unless taken apart, it was impossible to tell who was human and who was AI. They were everywhere. Thinking of them brought bile into Adrian’s throat.

Adrian left the city after the death of his parents and isolated himself from the rest of the world. He had studied engineering throughout college and had achieved a doctorate in Artificial Intelligence Advancement. With tools in hand and a wealth of knowledge on how his enemy worked from the inside out, he hid himself away to plot their demise. Only then would the world be purified. Only then could he live his life in peace. He needed his isolation to complete his studies and create the machine that would destroy them all.

Technically, everything that Adrian did in the privacy of his home was considered very illegal, and with AI being granted rights hundreds of years earlier, it was considered murder. But he knew better. So far he hadn’t been discovered, and with each year that passed Adrian took it as a sign from God that his work was righteous. He knew that each AI that fell under his hand was a reason to rejoice. It meant he was one step closer to cleansing the Earth of their disgusting race.

Adrian walked across the room hearing his feet knocking softly. His home was a well-hidden shack that contained very little in the way of comforts. He kept only a bed, a desk to write on, and his cooking unit so that he could eat. He often spent his time in the woods hunting wild animals so that he could avoid going into the city as much as possible. Within the city it was hard to control himself. Hard to control his urges. Far too often a trip to the city to retrieve supplies ended up with someone gagged and bound in the trunk of his car for him to take home and experiment on. Adrian had to be careful. Too many incidents would bring prying eyes, and an end to his work.

Aside from his belongings, his home was littered with failed machines, nuts, bolts, tools, and his work bench. What he called his work bench was a long metal table equipped with restraints. This is where he did his most important work. Testing his machines.

No one had to tell Adrian who was human and who was AI. He could distinguish their truths just by looking at them, and his instincts had never been wrong. He often remembered with a sense of sadistic pleasure the sound of their cries that were so very human. What joy he felt as he had time and time again proven them to be false as he pried the useless core out from their insides, soaking his hands in their synthetic blood. Most of the time he killed them purely for scientific purposes; to test his newest creations, but sometimes…sometimes it was just to gain back a sense of sanity.

Adrian caught himself smiling thinking of his past experiments, but a muffled groan brought him back to reality. He moved his eyes across the room to the work bench and his reminiscent smirk dissipated into a scowl. A young woman lay there, strapped to the table. Her strawberry blonde hair was already stained with synthetic blood from where he’d struck her with a crowbar, knocking her unconscious. As he stalked over to her, he could see her green eyes open slightly, still disoriented from the blow. As they focused on him they widened and pooled with tears. He scoffed at her.

“Look at you,” he uttered, his voice sounding foreign even to him from its lack of use. She cried out from behind the gag in her mouth as he approached, pulling against the restraints that held her hands tightly in place. The tears ran down her red cheeks, pouring over her freckled face. She grit her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, an expression he’d seen a thousand times. It was the face of defeat. He stopped beside her and looked her over.

She was dressed more modestly than most with dark jeans and a purple sweater over a black camisole. He even considered her somewhat lovely had she not been a monstrosity, but she reminded him of someone. As he looked upon her weeping form, a memory tickled the back of his brain. He suddenly remembered with revulsion one of his first experiments. It had been a botched job from the beginning, and she’d almost escaped him. A thin blonde wearing extremely high jean shorts and a bikini top had been swimming the lake behind the woods of his home. She’d begged him to release her, promising that she was not an AI when it became apparent that he knew. He’d killed many men already, but never a woman.

As he’d stood next to her, he touched her soft skin lightly with his fingertips, feeling how human she was. He was almost fooled as he’d kissed her wet lips without her permission. He’d never been intimate with any woman as every second of his time had been focused on his life’s work. He’d almost faltered that day as he’d stood there gazing upon her very human-like beauty, wondering how real she was underneath those tight shorts.

But his instincts had forced him to cut her open, and as he held her core in drenched hands he’d convulsed with disgust. He’d kissed her, touched her, and even had the most impure of thoughts about an AI. She couldn’t even be considered a she! She wasn’t a living being at all. Her life was manufactured. He’d vomited all over his floor and wept loudly at the repulsive things he’d thought. How unclean his mind was. Of course his experiments were failing! They were failing because God knew that his heart wasn’t behind it.

He cleaned up his shack, disposed of the body and did not eat or drink anything for over a week. Despite the gnawing hunger, he could feel his body becoming clean again. When he did not die of starvation, he took it as a sign that he’d been forgiven, and that God had affirmed his work. He knew then that it was his destiny to destroy them.

The girl’s cries had become a shrill set of panicked screams that brought him back to the present. He rolled his eyes and reached forward to remove the gag. The noise amplified as the gag fell away, and he silenced her with the back of his hand. Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him like a frightened deer.

“I don’t see why you’re so upset. You should consider yourself lucky. Instead of torturing you like the others, your death should be quite painless,” he assured her as he brought up a handheld device in his palm. It was the size of a cellphone with a nodule at one end, which he directed at her. She whimpered and inched away from him on the table.

“You see this?” he asked, pointing at the tip of the device. She looked away from him and bit her lip, tears flowing freely. He grunted and reached across the table, grabbing her face and forcing it to look at his creation.

“I said look! Do you see?” he asked again, and she nodded vigorously.

“This is my creation. When I direct this at your core which should be located right here,” he explained leaning over and touching her gently at the top of her stomach.

“This device will send out a localized beam of energy and will power down your core. Too little power will be agonizing for you, and too much power will cause it to explode. I’ve been trying to find the setting that will send just the right amount of juice to it, to shut it off. Does that make sense?” he asked, but he was interrupted by a loud wail spilling from her lips suddenly. She threw her head back against the table and screamed.

“HELP! Please help! Somebody!” she cried, ragged and hysterical. She screamed for help over and over but he stood there looking at her blankly. He knew that no one would hear them. He walked away from her and sat at his desk with the device in hand waiting for her to calm down. He ignored her animal like howls of desperation, running a finger across the device. He’d worked too hard for this. She would not ruin his moment of triumph with her ridiculous noises. When it became apparent that no help would arrive, the woman settled down into quiet sobbing and he got up from his desk. She looked to him with red pleading eyes.

“Please…” she begged. “I don’t know what you want from me, but I’m not an AI. I’m not an AI! I’m a human,” she cried, trembling all over. He smiled.

“Well then. You should have nothing to fear from this,” he assured her, indicating the device in his hands and grinning.

“I’ll make you a deal. If this doesn’t kill you because you really are human like you say, then I will let you go. I won’t even come for you again, and you can live on free of my grasp,” he said, sitting beside her again. She began to cry once more, pulling roughly against the restraints. Her wrists were raw and bleeding, her eyes swollen and puffy. She was ready.

“Just as I thought,” he muttered.

“If this works, then I will have completed my life’s work. I can place my device in the amplifier that I’ve built so that the beam will spread all over the Earth, and out into space. With the right amount of power, it will pass through all AI evenly instead of abruptly exploding the cores like it has done before on group experiments. If this is a success, I will wipe out every one of you. I will cleanse the world of you vermin,” he hissed inches from her face.

He rose from the chair and pointed it at her. She fell silent and looked up at him, imploring with her large green eyes. Adrian grinned widely and pressed the button, turning on the device. The girl’s mouth opened in surprise before her face contorted with agony. Her back arched up off of the table, and a piercing scream echoed throughout the room. Adrian would have covered his ears normally, but his was a moment in history. This was the defining point that would put an end to his long years of isolation. Finally, she convulsed and ceased moving. The room was still. He felt as if the entire world were taking a breath of anticipation.

Adrian placed the device on the table quickly and began to check her vital signs. When it was apparent that no life remained, he pulled out his tools to dissect the body.

He lifted her shirt, and gently pressed his scalpel into the soft pale flesh beneath the blouse. A gush of red pooled out from under the skin as he drew a line down her stomach with expert precision. Gingerly, he lifted the skin and reached inside with his bare hands, groping past her squishy manufactured organs until he felt the hard sphere in his palm. Pulling it out, he gazed upon it with wonder. It had not exploded, nor had it powered halfway down like some of the others had. This was his tenth successful trial, and it had shut off perfectly.

Adrian thanked God for the strength to do this, and washed his hands before putting the device and amplifier into a black bag. He left his shack smiling broadly. He needn’t even both burying the body, because when he was done; it would be just him and the humans again. The murder he’d just committed wouldn’t even matter.

Getting into his car, Adrian drove himself the many miles to the nearest town and parked. He felt a lightheartedness in his steps that he hadn’t experienced in years, and was almost boyish in nature as he raced to the main part of the city where people gathered. He passed the coffee shops, the restaurants and the stores lined with colorful clothing.

As he walked to a statue in the main square, he tried his best to ignore those around him. Everywhere he looked they were touching, embracing, kissing, talking, and pretending to live. With the AI destroyed, everyone could truly live. They wouldn’t have to pretend any longer. The statue in the square depicted a man and a woman holding hands and children playing together beneath their feet. It had been created hundreds of years ago on the day that the AI had been given rights and it had disgusted him ever since he’d first seen it.

Adrian stopped at the base of the statue and began to unpack his device and amplifier that it would fit neatly into. He set it up without anyone noticing what he was doing until a small girl raced up to him.

“What is that?” she asked and grinned up at him. He looked away from his device, meeting the wide eyes of the little girl and froze. Was she human or AI? He’d never experimented on a child before. Did it really matter? Adrian shook himself. Of course it didn’t. They were all the same, but he had to know. With a slight glance around the crowd, he leaned forward, finding his voice.

“What are you?” he questioned softly as he finished wiring the device. The girl returned his question with a puzzled expression.

“I’m Carly,” she answered, suddenly shy. He smiled slightly at the simplicity of her response and put his hands on his knees.

“No. I didn’t ask who you are. I asked what you are. Are you a human, Carly? Or are you an AI?” he asked even softer, worrisome about the listening ears of others. Carly cocked her head to one side. She couldn’t have been more than five years old.

“I don’t know. I’m just…Carly,” she said with a confused expression as if she didn’t understand. Carly frowned at him and then raced back to her mother who was talking among a small group of people. Adrian watched her cling to her mother’s pant leg and pondered to himself. How did the child not know what she was? Maybe she’d never been told. What if they never told her? Would she go on living and believing that she was a human even if she were an AI? Was it possible that the test subjects that had sworn to be human had actually believed it? Should those that were ignorant be punished for it?

A sinking feeling entered his stomach and he felt doubt. The emotion was so strong that he staggered back away from the device, unsure of himself now. He fell against the statue and looked up at the smiling faces etched in stone. Which figure was to represent the AI, and which was the human? Looking at them now he couldn’t tell. His eyes fanned the crowd frantically, suddenly unable to distinguish who was human and who wasn’t. They were so intermingled with one another that he was finding it impossible. This had never happened before. He knew he had to leave. The timing wasn’t right. Could he watch that unknowing child die right in front of him if she happened to be AI? He felt lightheaded and dizzy with panic. On shaking legs, he made to leave. Adrian felt a tug on his jeans and he gasped looking down to see the girl again.

“You forgot your box,” Carly told him, lifting it up at him with a smile on her face. Adrian stared at her dumbfounded and shook his head. She set the box at his feet and crouched down beside it.

“What does it do?” she asked reaching forward with her small hands. Adrian’s eyes widened and he lurched to stop her, but her finger pressed the main button on the device. It was too late.

A low hum resonated in the air bringing everyone’s attention to the box. The girl's large, innocent eyes locked with Adrian's, pure shock filling them before the blast knocked everyone to the ground. A roiling pain coursed through his body, twisting him into violent angles. His eyes strained to see, and everyone around him was doing the same. Carly convulsed on the ground before him and to his horror there was no one left standing. Where were the humans? Adrian rolled onto his stomach, fighting against the pain to see. Everyone was dying before him. Everyone. Including himself. Adrian felt the energy leaving him, and what could be considered regret entered his mind. He had never been human. He was just Adrian, a sick and twisted man fighting for ideals that no longer existed. Around the Earth, and out into the reaches of space every living human-like being collapsed into a heap where they stood until their movement finally ceased. When the commotion had finished, the Earth fell into silence as it had not experienced for millions of years. There were no humans. They had become extinct long ago, and now there were no AI. 

 The Earth was alone, and it was good.