If I cry I’m a baby

If I’m mad I’m the problem

Every mistake that you make

It’s cause of me, yeah I’m the problem

Don’t want me to have a boyfriend

Are you really being protective

Or does something inside you know

When it comes to being a father you’re defective

Constantly putting your hands on me

Even if I tell you NO

I don’t care if you’re my father

You usually act like you’re my foe

I was never daddy’s little girl

I’ve always cared for my mom

Ask yourself whose the reason for my sad and twisted heart

I just need someone

To vent to who’d actually listen

To hold me when I cry

Instead of trying to fix things

I hate physical touch

Because when I got it it was always rough

I always feel alone

Anxiety twinning as my clone

It’s just a phase you say

Just be happy

You’re to young to know about that

You don’t really feel crappy

I build myself up

Every time you bring me down

But it’s all just a front

I feel as pretty as the “dancing clown”

Depression is a thing

You said you had it yourself

So why is mine different

Why don’t you care that I’m not doing swell

You ignore me for months

Then apologize like it‘s good

I’m sick of walking on eggshells

To make you happy

You sure have a way

Of making your family feel crappy

You’re just like your dad

An insult that cuts deep

You were supposed to love and protect me

Not make me sad for being me

“I pay the bills and feed you”

So what comes after that

Now I know what not to be

My whole life I’ve had front row seats

I hope and pray my future lover

Will cherish me like my mother

That he would go from heaven and back for me

That he loves me unconditionally

Sometimes I wonder if hate is possible

When I look into your manipulative face

My definition of a monster

Is the man you became

I wanna scream I wanna cry

All these horrible thoughts inside

In my head in my bed

I feel like an emotional wreck

Rules and Order breath getting shorter

You’re the bossiest person alive

If I scream if I cry

It’s my fault I got pricked by your vine

Me, Me, Me, I, I, I,

That‘s all I hear every time

Grow up look in the mirror

Who‘s the child its getting foggier

I’m the kid you’re the adult

So why are you acting like a five year old

You say you’re petty like its a good thing

You love to talk but never listen

A friend to all except your family

Can only escape when I turn 18

It’s your mom and you who give me this crap

Because we don't let you walk all over us like a doormat

So I’ll be quiet and I‘ll be cold

If it gets me out of your suffocating hold

I will not cry when you are near

You always get repulsed by my tears

They say all kids deserve parents and not the other way around

I believe in this fact you can’t live without putting me down

You always say you can make another daughter

SO WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MY FATHER

Blowing in the breeze

A gentle soothing sound

Scattering the leaves in the Tree

Sinking to my knees

Nature all around

Floating in the grass my green sea

Buzzing with the bees

As they dance for flowers found

A sense of calm overcoming me

Serenity is the key

To unlock the door it is bound

All you have to do is find your inner peace

Calmly I sit and breathe

On a hill my little mound

As I contemplate my future story

It would chaotic and daring I think

Constantly my heart would pound

Crazy, Funny, and Free

It will surely be one to read