He was coming to see me, and I was nervous. I was not nervous the way I was the first time he visited, but it sat there, high in my stomach. It was the anxiety that came from uncertainty. Because all this time I have never been able to let go of another. This other one I could not have. In my mind flashes of him and I breaking things off replay, like an old movie. But the question remained. Was this the future I feared or hoped for?

#lovetriangle #ceasetheday #certainty

Why did you have to hide away?

Leaving us guessing

Leaving us missing...you disappeared into the breeze

Oh no! I hope your smile returns to its place

So naturally on your face

Please don't fade away

Why did you have to sail away?

And leave us all on the shore

You kicked us all off board 

As you rushed into the stormy seas

Oh no! I hope

You travel safely 

I'll pray for your safety 

I watch you fade away

If you find that you're sinking down 

And wonder why no one is around

It's not that we don't want to be

But the wind and the waves, pushed you so far away

How can I keep you safe?

And I want to keep you safe

 Oh no! I hope 

Your smile returns to its place

So naturally on your face  

Everything will be okay

Oh no! I hope

You travel safely 

I'll pray for your safety 

Don't you fade away! 

These are my late night thoughts about you

I said I could not write a thing, about you, when I loved you 

But then you went broke my heart, in two,

Into too many pieces that I can't pick up

I fell into a lull as the flickering dimmed lights from the candles had shadows dance on the white walls.

My grandmother's voice rang sharply from the cassette tape that my mother had put into the tape recorder for me. Hearing the trills in the voice of the Indian chanter calmed me down. It would only be years later that I'd find out the beautiful lullaby was not sung by my grandmother, but by a famous Bollywood artist from the 1970's. Many years ago I came to the conclusion that this simple moment in time was my first memory.

The image of warm orange light from fire, and my mother rocking me; this is where my mind goes to when insomnia creeps into my dreams, when it harasses me to become aware of the darkness of the night.

Upon replaying this moment many a times, I finally find comfort, and what I remember of the lullaby caresses me back to slumber.

Ice cracked below her feet. The subzero gusts of wind caught the already shivering Margot by surprise. Tears that achingly formed around the crescents of her eyes, froze instantaneously upon meeting with the winter air. Steadily she walked forward, holding her breath, as if that would stop the frozen lake ice from collapsing, and plunging her to an icy death.

"You can do it!" Ailor, yelled from the safety of the lake's shore.

Margot did not look up. Her eyes were glued to her feet, and she stared in horror as the ice began to crack more.

"Margot, just melt the ice!" Ailor's tone became more panicked, as the echoing of the ice breaking reached the shore.

Margot's lip began to quiver, until hot streams of tears ran down her face. She closed her eyes, consumed by the terrifying thought of her own demise.

Splash!

Margot dropped into the lake below. To her surprise, however, the water was not deathly cold as she had imagined. Her long tendrils of hair wrapped around her face, as she resurfaced.

Jovial cries could be heard from the distance.

"Morgot, you did it! It's summer again."

Margot opened her eyes to the lapis lazuli water around her. And the sky. Oh, they had not seen such a blue sky in many months. Margot spotted her friend, and waved wildly with joy.

The joy did not last.

The clear sky formed darkened cumulous clouds, and the lake's summer water, began to become firm, and groaned as ice formed, slowly encasing the helpless girl in the lake.

#trajedy #stripedAbyss #firstpost