You left me

You didnt care about me

Stop being a child

You dont care about my feelings

I wont bug you now

You go live your life and I will live mine

Better luck erasing me from your memory and moving on,

Close all the incomplete chapters of our lives

Good luck opening new chapter of your life

Hope you will do fine without me

I wake up with a smile in my face. It's because today is the day that I have been waiting for. Today is his birthday. I plan on surprising him today and confess my feelings that I have for him. It has been three years since we have known each other. I cannot hold back my feelings for him anymore. I am going to confess it today. I am excited to see if he feels the same for me or not. 

I have called him in my home in the evening. I have prepared a party, just for the two of us. But he seems to be enjoying with his friends today. He isn't picking up my calls. I am feeling empty and can't seem to think about anything but him. I call all other friends, but all the calls keep on being directed to voicemail. I don't know what is wrong with all the people. I am panicking and I finally get a text from him,"Hey, Roselyn are you alright? Where are you?" I am shocked to read the message because we just met last night. Nothing has happened to me. I replied instantly,"I am fine, where have you gone? aren't you supposed to be here now?" I became worried. I have not walked outside today. I just didn't feel like going outside for no reason.

After about ten minutes, he replies, "Roselyn, just keep all the doors and windows of your house locked. Don't come out. Just stay safe." I kept on staring at my phone's screen for a couple of seconds and tried looking out the window. I raised the curtains and I couldn't believe what was happening. It felt like a dream. The city was in chaos and people were acting crazy. I hurried and locked all the doors and windows. Just then, I heard a loud knock on my front door. I stood in the room and kept on listening to the knock. The knocks kept on increasing and became louder and louder. At that moment, I was thinking about how I couldn't confess my feelings for the guy whom I loved for three years. And then the door opened and I collapsed.

I don't know why people seem so misunderstood about random things.

If one has committed a mistake. that person should be sorry and accept his/her mistake sincerely.

People make mistakes every time you know

And that is human nature.

Tears fall from our eyes when we are sad and hurt

Smile is born between our lips when we are happy and when we are overwhelmed

Our nose cringes and the brightness from our face decreases as we are angry

The smile from our face fades away when we are stressed

The expression on our face changes and changes and keeps on changing.

But my mother says that no matter how sad life is and no matter how angry you are

Never let smile fade away from your face

But it just can't happen 

I try and try 

And someday I will practice that 

Someday

Someday

At first, I fell in love with him

The look on his eyes and his voice 

Made me fall in love with him

I guessed it was LOVE 

not infatuation or anything

But it turned out to be wrong.

It turned out that my mind and my heart

Were tricking me and luring me

I came to realize this later

I used to ask my heart not my mind

I repeat not my mind,

Asked my heart about my feelings,

Uncontrollable feelings for an unknown guy

The heart would not reply and fall silent.

One day, I confessed everything

In front of him, right beside him

My decision was not right

I realized this thing later only

Eventually,

It was not love, it was maybe my CRUSH

I am running out of words to describe my feelings for him.

Now they are gone

Like those feelings have disappeared as a puff of smoke

It was hard but I went on,

Coolly and slowly I acted normal

I regret fessing up to him

Because now I feel nothing

Yes nothing,

And I am as cold as ice now

Regarding feelings towards him.

I feel as if I am indebted to him

In one way or another,

When will I ever be able to pay the debt?

Maybe someday

And that is the story of my love that I regret now.

I am aware that time is slipping by

Time is precious

Many things jumbled up and 

I see the papers lying in the floor

The studying table, dusty

Clothes lying everywhere

Books spread everywhere

There is no space where I can keep my feet

I know I don't have time

So much things to do in limited time

Piling of incomplete works

This process keeps on going

Amidst the dirt and messiness

I find time to pick up my cellphone

And unlock it

Then I also have time to swipe up my Instagram feeds

Time is slipping by

And I have my debate case to prepare

I am giving a shit about my case

If I do so I will disappoint myself

But my instincts deviate and I go on to upload a picture

A nice picture of a YouTuber

I refrain from doing so 

Then put aside my phone

But the energy level is suddenly down now

To do other stuff than use my phone.

I realize that time is passing away

And i still haven't cleaned the mess 

Or managed my books

Or piled up the clothes neatly

I only find time to dig in social sites

And upload or swipe up pictures of celebs.

Time is just slipping away

I can do nothing about it.

We both hated each other.

There was a sense of hostility between us.

I could see it right through the deadly eyes.

The intense feeling of hatred portrayed

and the chill that is sent to my spines 

When our stares clash.

There is such a coldness in us

We will never get to bond with each other.

Although we may cross fake greetings

and pass fake feelings

But that hatred will continue to dwell in

Our hearts

Forever and Ever 

I hope the hostitlity ends someday

I wonder till when can this thing last

The anger, frustation

All welling up all of a sudden

Mind being packed with all sorts of ideas

And worries

And stress

And emotions

Heart being packed with all sorts of decisions

And jammed in between right or wrong

To do this or that

Whether to limit mind or heart

When everything you controlled 

Becomes carried away

And you realize 

Evrything is limitless 

Like that