Regrettable Love

At first, I fell in love with him

The look on his eyes and his voice 

Made me fall in love with him

I guessed it was LOVE 

not infatuation or anything

But it turned out to be wrong.

It turned out that my mind and my heart

Were tricking me and luring me

I came to realize this later

I used to ask my heart not my mind

I repeat not my mind,

Asked my heart about my feelings,

Uncontrollable feelings for an unknown guy

The heart would not reply and fall silent.

One day, I confessed everything

In front of him, right beside him

My decision was not right

I realized this thing later only

Eventually,

It was not love, it was maybe my CRUSH

I am running out of words to describe my feelings for him.

Now they are gone

Like those feelings have disappeared as a puff of smoke

It was hard but I went on,

Coolly and slowly I acted normal

I regret fessing up to him

Because now I feel nothing

Yes nothing,

And I am as cold as ice now

Regarding feelings towards him.

I feel as if I am indebted to him

In one way or another,

When will I ever be able to pay the debt?

Maybe someday

And that is the story of my love that I regret now.