Rhinestone cowboy
I grieve for those days of innocence
when I rested my head on your lap
safe from a world of harm
basking in your warmth
confident it was unconditional
sure as the earth rises each morning
I would meet you where you were
glad to be beloved
happy to love
without regard for myself
moulding me into you
all was well till I tried to stand
I needed reminding of your fears
your loyalty to convention
your compromise was to be my own
your sacrifice, my sworn path
conflict was born much too late
maybe I shelved it to slumber
a little longer by your side
even then I realized you wouldn’t tolerate
backtalk from baby
established authority couldn’t be questioned
especially by the likes of me
helplessly dependent weakling
somehow I didnt swallow the red pill
war raged on within
much as I meant to keep it a secret
it broke out all over my face
spread to newspaper pages
the hollow within the follower was told
despite all attempts to keep it in the fold
I hoped this meant you could shed
your burdens too
step off a matyrs’ pedestal
to live abundantly among open folk
tethered as you were to it all
I couldn’t save you
as I see now this is yet another
pathological hope
to be seen by you
so I remain alien
a strange thing walking on three legs
foreign to all that is right
my actions are lost in translation
our common ground is now a spit
knowing the high price
I had to pay for my territory
it’s clear this is nature’s doing
where life persists, growth is inevitable
I refuse to maime myself to suite you
hence our awkward relations
I pen this memo
to explain to my lonely heart
that I did all I could
to salvage my image of you
pray we meet again
in truth, understanding and acceptance
for there is still time
till then, take care
I know I will
Devour
trauma knows your name
it calls to you in dark corners
seduces you in familiarity
its screams seems to be
your solemn duty
to quiten
though that baby is not yours
its demands are never satisfied
though your knees touch the ground
it beckons you to prostrate
then hastily descend into newly found depths
it sells itself as home
yet its hungrier than a black hole
everyday it rises to meet you
it materializes in dreams
lucky, you know who he is
Pivot
opportunity doesn’t come knocking
it sits in your lap
like a dull ache
unacknowledged
uncelebrated
unseen
inert
one sneeze
ride this unlikely catalyst
take that ball to court
now you have a party on your hands
playing past street lights coming on
addicted to bump constellations in my grip
swirling in young energy
devoid of aging rigidity
pores wide open
to universal themes
escaping my narrow
into golden hour
Sage
It’s a matter of proper place
and timing
carrying on with today’s buying
no breaks nor whining
build wealth for piling
higher and higher
on our family’s dining
then we invite the neighbors
to ogle and chime in
witness to how grand our living
yet our souls go hungry
this tradition is our suffering
but never to disown it
for gramps may be grumpy
he is no sage, it‘s just his age
yet this new kid is too shiny
still on his learner‘s permit
he can’t drive us round the block
Trains
As soon as the train passed, I scurried away to the other side of the tracks. It took a minute to recall the exact location of my friend’s burrow, but my nose picked up her scent. In I went, only to discover she and her kids hadn’t woken up yet. I tried to tiptoe around the snoring trio, but there wasn’t much wiggle room. Eventually, one of them startled to life, took one look at me, and shrieked. Then I remembered what I did. The last time I saw them, I cheekily let the train run over me just as I waved goodbye to them. As long as I lie low in this groove I dug, I am clear of that cruising steel can. Looking at their shocked faces, clearly they had no idea. Now I felt like a rat. In my defence, we are all rats.
Scent
I caught a whiff of you
looked up and saw you pedal by
wow a human!
that’s not my human
alarm bells ring in my head
quick alert them all
I bolt towards the gate
damn chain link fence is in the way
maybe theres a hole at the base
I could squeeze through
I pace back and forth but no joy
the cyclist is getting away
oh there goes my chance to meet fresh meat
if I got close enough not sure
if I would bite him or lick him
either way how exhilarating
any chance you have a trailing posse?
I can come too
my nose is great at picking game
not that I am into the kill
I am all for the chase
call me
Lust for life
I am going all in
for the participation trophy
yes I am in the running
I am no threat really
lots of reasons to bow out
ignoring that negative crowd
taking my licks and kicks in trailersville
accompanying winners to the podium
all smiles at cameras for whom
I remain out of view
my being overflowing in gratitude
despite mounting challenges
these tired feet made it to race
hoping present momentum
outpaces that of creeping despair
tempting as it is to throw in the towel
I would rather they take me out by my feet
but not one second earlier
than my ordained time