Uncertain.
How do you know that it's over?
How do you know the end is near?
What causes them to leave?
What causes you to drift apart?
Was it my fault?
Was it supposed to last forever?
Why do I fell like we both could've done better?
Why do I repeatedly fall for love?
Where did it go wrong?
Where could it have gone?
When did the spark disappear?
When did I first realize I loved him?
Could it have gone on longer?
Could it have kept us together
Would he even stay if he could?
Would he even still want me?
At what point do I let go?
At what point do I throw my hands up and walk away?
Did I try to make it this way without knowing?
Did I try to draw us too close for comfort?
Do you know what to do?
Do you know if I should try to stay?
Why did I let it get like this?
Will I Ever Change?
A naive, hopeful
looking for love,
not boastful,
for I don't reach above.
I wonder and wonder
Will he eventually come?
Take away the storm's thunder
and celebrate his dumb?
I am one
who searches and searches
for someone bright like the sun
that's worth my every purchase.
Why do I?
I am lonely
That's why.
I need a one and only.
I don't know where to look
or where to go,
I just want someone from that book,
the one without the traditional hoe.
Every place,
every thought.
Every untied lace,
Every peaceful trot.
I look for one to share,
one to dance,
play with my hair,
with a cute prance.
Not ashamed,
that I love him
and his rage tamed,
he doesn't have to be slim
If he doesn't mind,
then neither do I
If we're intertwined
I've dreamed the perfect guy.
Imagination is all I have.
To keep me from hurt,
I love to laugh
but never to assert.
Sometimes I'm warned,
never get your hopes up.
Every devil is horned.
Always have a back up.
This is me
I'm unsure how long it will last
but I embrace it, you see
It will forever be part of my past.
Leave.
As if love were here,
You grabbed my hand.
You stole my fear,
made my smile grand.
This day I've waited for
has finally come to me.
But a friend of poor,
has my heart's key.
Without my permission,
we advanced without warning.
There was no intermission,
for it flew like lightning.
Lost track of motion,
and sense of my pride.
Under some sort of potion,
I left my best friend's side.
How could I
have let myself
say goodbye
and leave us on a shelf?
I know nothing lasts
I'm fully aware
Despite multiple pasts,
my conscious is bare.
Unsure of what to do
I pack my memories
and leave with the one of new
to create unfamiliar stories.
When that goes wrong
I quickly remember what I had before:
One who'd share every song,
Walk hand-in-hand to the store
Late night conversations,
"I love you" after every hug,
Cuddling during all animations,
One to pour coffee in my mug.
I did so much more than 'miss'
So I decided to go back.
I was welcomed with a kiss
My pierced heart relieved from the tack.
Disappeared.
When we met,
I didn't think I'd end up in love.
Bright spring.
Uplifting.
I started conversation.
I knew you very little.
Complete strangers to each other.
You taught me friendship.
Happiness.
Companionship.
Generosity.
Through every hardship,
You were there.
Doctor's appointments.
Death.
Hospital stay.
Highs and lows.
But always still together.
Always there to talk to.
But then we became real.
Everything amazing.
Months later,
You've stopped talking.
We're still next to each other.
But why?
I never thought this would come.
Are you hiding
Everything inside?
Why can't I find you?
The sparkle in your eyes.
I remember it like it were the beginning.
The sweet talk.
The long phone calls.
The unintentional confessions.
The humorous jokes.
The unknowingly flirtatious comments.
The mutual support.
I need it.
That happy boost.
Please come back.
It's late winter now.
You make time go by fast.
It's a wonder.
Why am I still here if you've given up?
Are you even still interested?
Words.
Words.
Words.
Use them.
To tell me.
If you want this.
This that I've strived for.
For nine months.
Seven of which were heaven.
Times change.
We hug.
But it's not the same as it once was.
It's strange without you.
I'm strange without you.
Don't be a stranger,
Stranger.
The One
At some point, everyone falls in love with someone. I fell for someone who I had no belief that I'd be with. Anything is possible. I was deeply hurt by someone that I thought was the "one", but anyone who hurts you is never the one. They say that if you can love someone after they hurt you, it is true love. It is not like that. If someone has intentions of hurting you, they do not love you. It might take a year, decade, century, or lifetime to forget them, but it would be better than letting them hurt you. As soon as you find someone that accepts you and enjoys your company, keep them. Very few people on this planet are selfless.
