slip away
The hours slip away
changing into day
Trying to forget
every little bit
I think i want to die
or maybe i want to fly
either way
i just don't want to stay
i tell you that i'm good
but I would tell you the truth if i could
i feel a pain
that leaves my skin stained
the crimson red
makes me feel more than just dead
I am addicted to the sensation
but i know it's hurting his creation
but no one really cares
because no one dares
to reach out to say are you ok
bc they would rather go on with their day
Nightmare
I'm awake
Though I wish I was asleep
These nightmares used to only be at night
Now...
They haunt me in broad daylight
One of these days I hope when I go to sleep I never wake up
Then it will just be cold darkness that surrounds me
Not the hot embers of pain and suffering
I just want this nightmare to end
The pills are waiting
Ready to help me stay asleep
I've counted them countless times
Every single one screaming for me to swallow it
Promising me everything will be ok when I do
I can't tell if these nightmares want me to kill my self
Or stay alive to struggle through this life
As of right now...
I just want to sleep
At least I wish I could but the nightmares
These nightmares that are supposed to happen while you're sleeping
Are always there
When I wake up
As I go to bed
Even while I'm sleeping
I can never escape
I can't wait until all of this is over
One way or another
Broken
The scars on my arms
are just a reflection of the ones on my heart
More and more created almost every day
Every single one telling a story
But not like fairytales
More like nightmares
The lack of sleep
Is just a reflection of my struggle to get through the day
The thoughts I have as I lay in my bed
Every one marking my heart
Slowly killing me
The tears in my eyes
Are just a reflection of the pain in my soul
Every one that falls creates a deeper scar
My heart is broken
My thoughts are broken
My soul is broken
I'm broken
Twenty-For Seven
"You're ugly!"
"You're so fat!"
Maybe it'll stop
I'll just put away my phone for a while
"You should loose some weight."
"You're so stupid!"
Maybe tomorrow will be better
I'll just go to bed
*somebody commented*
"You're beautiful!"
They don't really think that
Nobody else does
They're lying
How can anyone think I'm beautiful
"You should kill yourself!"
"You're worthless!"
It's getting harder to fall asleep
But yet I don't feel like getting out of bed
"You should stop eating"
"OMG! How do you live with yourself?!?!"
I don't really know anymore
I don't think I can
"You can't do anything right!"
"I hate you!"
That's ok...
I hate me too
"Hey!"
"Listen, I'll love you no matter what(:"
How could anyone love me?
I don't matter
"I hope you rot in hell"
"You're such a piece of shit"
I'm sorry
Maybe I should just kill myself
"You're such a fucking idiot"
"I wish you were never born!"
Yeah...
Me too
"How are you?"
"I hope you're ok❤️"
They don't really care
How could they
"You should just go kill yourself already!!"
Ok...
I will
Pills
1 2 3
Not enough for me
4 5 6
I'll use the one my hand first picks
7 8 9
I told you I was fine
10 11 12
Please don't blame yourself
13 14 15
There is no more in between
16 17 18
You can't see all of the pain from behind a screen
19 20 21
Instead, should I have swung
22 23 24
I need a lot more
25 26 27
Will it be hell or heaven
28 29 30
Don't come looking for me
Bottle
You have no idea how hard it is
to stay away from that bottle
Just sitting there
Waiting for me to give in
The bottle sitting in the bathroom
The bottle filled with all my worries
That could disappear in seconds
That bottle could be my escape
The one to end all my pain
But that would be selfish
If I think about my pain
What could it possibly be like
to lose a daughter
A sister
A friend
Whatever pain I would be taking away
Would just fall onto all of the people around me
That bottle
That one bottle
Could be the one to break me
That bottle
On the counter
In the bathroom
Waiting