beautiful truths

all i do is lie to him;

scream the hatred i feel into the void

tell him i wish he were gone from my life

but all i want

is to hold him close

is to whisper the love i feel for him over and over

until it is inherent to who he is

until he knows that i would do anything for him

but i can't.

i am bound by fate

to be his enemy

to hurt him over and over

and i can't change that.

and it makes me feel sick sometimes,

when i see the heartbreak in his eyes

i know he wants to say it too

"i love you"

a shout into the empty night sky

a sweet decleration under the covers

but it cannot be controlled.

and so i hope and pray and wish

that he knew i was lying

that all the harsh lies i spit out

cover up one beautiful truth.