It’s Finally Happened
It's finally happened,
that moment I've been waiting for
that moment where all of the suffering
the tears, the torture, the hurt, the pain
the nights of wishing that somehow, someway
I could be seen as an equal in comparison
to her since it was evident she was your favorite daughter
the days of throwing my hours to the side
staring out of the window under the promise
that you would be waiting for me with open arms
filled with love because you couldn't wait to see me
only for you to call later that night and say
'something more important has came up'
the endless voice mails of me wishing
you could find the time out of your busy day
to even talk to me for just a few minutes and
tell you how much you loved me or
that you were thinking of me like I of you
that moment where I realize it's all worth it
It's finally fallen into perfectly placed pieces
and the cracks your neglect left inside my frail,
little heart has finally been filled with the knowledge
that my debt has finally been paid
There you are, struggling to close your eyes
every night and shaking as you wallow in the
sorrow of your nightmares that replay over
and over and over a l l d a y l o n g
There you are, staring at four white walls
with the sound of monotone beeping
echoing in your ears as you reach for the
ringing phone you keep hoping is me
There you are, tears spilling down your cheeks
as you remember all the words you threw at me
when I was too young to even comprehend
what you could have possibly meant at that time.
There you are, wishing and hoping and praying
and thinking and regretting and losing and realizing...
Yet, here I am, living and breathing and laughing
and smiling and feeling and loving and knowing...
--that the events you've encountered as of late
is everything you deserve to occur in your life
of hate, revenge, deceit and betrayal.
A daughter should never have to beg to have
a relationship with her father, and I'm sorry to say,
but even as you lay upon those sheets of white,
no tears fall from these eyes.
Inner Exposure
I fell in love with his words,
cascading into a world where every character he spilled
onto an empty canvas was an essence of his psyche
left for someone to capture and absorb into themselves.
I allowed the syllables
that escaped from his fingers to dance upon my flesh
until I could feel his presence in the wind outside my window,
almost as if his voice was being carried throughout
the trees and sprinkled amongst their branches.
His passion poured around me,
an emotional thunderstorm that left bleeding letters
between every crevice; an everlasting reminder
of the poetry his hands had forged from
the abandoned thoughts that clouded his mind.
I fell in love with his words
because it was through those altercations with his pen
that he allowed every layer to be stripped away,
grating my eyes permission to graze upon
the lyrics etched into his soul.
Honesty In Small Doses
You know how you get that feeling when your expecting a certain reaction
from that one special person, and you honestly believe in your heart
that its gonna happen, but it just doesn’t?
Your whole world just crashes around you.
You wanna curl in a ball as you try
not to cry because it didn’t happen?
You have to fake that smile on your face
because that person is sitting in front of you
at that time of the alleged moment
that crushed your choking heart.
You have to hold back the waterfall
of unforgiving tears because one minute
you’re feeling on top of the world
thinking it's the perfect moment,
when in reality it's not going to happen.
Yet in the back of your feeble, tainted mind
you knew what the outcome was going to be.
You knew this would be the moment
you feared the most, but you fought
against your better judgement
because you didn’t want it to be true.
You felt your hands shaking
as you pushed the feelings aside.
You heard your heart beat
three times faster than usual
but you figured it was just from the excitement
of your soon to be moment.
You skipped a few harsh breaths
in anticipation of seeing them.
You mistook your shaking
q u i c k e n e d
harsh gasps of honesty
for fallacies,
p r e t e n d
and a fairy-tale with a twisted ending.
You told yourself it wasn’t that easy.
You told yourself it just wasn’t going to happen.
Yet, obliviously, you took a dive
into uncharted waters
and the crashing waves consumed you.
Now you’re drowning in a sea of confusion
lost in a wave of forgotten dreams
of what could have been but never will be.
You’re so far into the water now.
No one can save you.
You sink under and let reality wash over you.
You’re no longer locked inside
this box of expectations.
You finally accept to stop expecting.
A Quick Request/Announcement
I have two challenges I posted today and they are open for the next three or four weeks each.
It would mean the world to me if anyone who sees this could go check them out and enter them.
I would love to see the words of others like this!
Link to Challenges:
- https://theprose.com/challenge/2844
- https://theprose.com/challenge/2845
Please comment here or message me if you enter so I can be sure to check out your pieces!
(Or tag me in a comment on the piece itself!)
Delirium
He's here!
She's here!
You're here too!
Take a seat
gather round!
The feast is served!
If I give you this drink
will you sing for me?
Look at how you made her laugh!
She whispers into her tea how terrible,
terrible she looks
I'm hideous!
(crash)
The crumpets fell to the floor!
Oh dear!
He's shoving them in his mouth now!
{worms coming from his teeth?}
No!
She's kicking her feet at the dishes!
The glass, the glass it stings as you touch it, right?
The rabbit is here...
I see his bunny teeth gnawing away on...
{idontknowidontknow!}
Wait, tears on your cheeks?
Why are you crying?
{your tears burn me}
The rabbit isn't white anymore,
...redpaint.
{no! no! it's not paint, is it?}
He's leaving! He's leaving!
Oh, what to do, to do?
{Get the rabbit!}
Don't just sit there!
Don't drink the tea!
What's the voice in wind?
It's madness, I tell you, m a d n e s s.
{it's me! it's you! it's you! it's me!}
[No one is here but you]
you're me
and I'm you.
It's we
as me...
It's me
as you...
tea...
Shall I get a cup of tea for you?
Countdown
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Five years of self-induced medicine
addiction contorted mutilations that
offer a moment of fraudulent solace
only to be ripped out my caving chest
as I remember I lack control
Four months of heavy breathing
as the poison courses through my
already brittle bones that slowly
disintegrate as the clock continues
to tick every deafening second
Three weeks of inner suffocation
cowering in the repeated torment
of lessened lung capacities and the
oxygen that turns to lead in my
choking blood stream
Two days of constant instability
as the monitor monotonously
continues to beep the rhythm
of a heart that can't seem to
find a way to beat.
One hour of shameful tears
clinging to skeleton cheeks
and swollen eyes that close
as the pronounced carnage
finally meets its end.
Five tears.
Four gasps.
Three inhales.
Two exhales.
One last breath.
The Royal and The Wolf
She was naive, hidden away from the rest of the world;
her skin untouched by the dangers of her surroundings
and her heart unknowingly placed into another's hands.
He was naive, bound by chains of his family's promise;
his skin covered with the blood of many before him
and his heart unknowingly placed into another's hands.
A fire burning in the desolate forest,
far away from the wandering eyes
and tormented shower of disapproval,
the wolf finds the royal cowering under the oak tree
where many lives had met their final breath beneath his
t r e m b l i n g p a l m s.
eyes capturing every fraction of his soul
the beat of her frail heart resonates in his ears
and a voice so pure stains the corners of his mind
Come away with me, at once.
Forget this town and follow me,
follow me to the ends of the earth
as we find our solace within the dark of night.
shaking hands touch as curious fingers intertwine
frozen skin inflamed under the pale moonlight
as the wind sings to the stars of the love
hidden within the shadows of the woods.