It’s Finally Happened

It's finally happened,

that moment I've been waiting for

that moment where all of the suffering

the tears, the torture, the hurt, the pain

the nights of wishing that somehow, someway

I could be seen as an equal in comparison

to her since it was evident she was your favorite daughter

the days of throwing my hours to the side

staring out of the window under the promise

that you would be waiting for me with open arms

filled with love because you couldn't wait to see me

only for you to call later that night and say

'something more important has came up'

the endless voice mails of me wishing

you could find the time out of your busy day

to even talk to me for just a few minutes and

tell you how much you loved me or

that you were thinking of me like I of you

that moment where I realize it's all worth it

It's finally fallen into perfectly placed pieces

and the cracks your neglect left inside my frail,

little heart has finally been filled with the knowledge

that my debt has finally been paid

There you are, struggling to close your eyes

every night and shaking as you wallow in the

sorrow of your nightmares that replay over

and over and over a l l d a y l o n g

There you are, staring at four white walls

with the sound of monotone beeping

echoing in your ears as you reach for the

ringing phone you keep hoping is me

There you are, tears spilling down your cheeks

as you remember all the words you threw at me

when I was too young to even comprehend

what you could have possibly meant at that time.

There you are, wishing and hoping and praying

and thinking and regretting and losing and realizing...

Yet, here I am, living and breathing and laughing

and smiling and feeling and loving and knowing...

--that the events you've encountered as of late

is everything you deserve to occur in your life

of hate, revenge, deceit and betrayal.

A daughter should never have to beg to have

a relationship with her father, and I'm sorry to say,

but even as you lay upon those sheets of white,

no tears fall from these eyes.