self-portrait as desert mother
i want to be big tall cactus-height
living prickly but with care touch me
if you dare i will thorn you or throne you
depending on your gravity and whether we make a good orbit
i choose if you stay maybe i'll leave you cold
heart so sorbet forgive me i'm talking mountains again
i'm peaking i'm peaked i'm pink
and i'm hideous grisly fragmented
fresh flesh placenta on a hot summer day
an ugly metaphor just to grab your attention
It’ll be okay
Sand over my feet
As I’m looking around for the sky
But there are only trees
through whose shadows I can never fly.
Pictures, I’ve learned to keep
Guarding angels never let me down
But the shore is almost gone
One last moment, let me feel the ground
Please forgive me, I can’t be around.
But there is something more than this,
just spread your fingers while cutting through the air,
naked bodies don’t exist,
it’s just reckless choices and mistakes.
Beyond the mountains I can hear a silent whisper of a lonely lion cub
In my reflection all I see
Are the million shining little stars.
Don’t forget me,
my footsteps reached so far.
And there is something more than this, once you listen to the voice of your heart,
Close your eyes and then you’ll see
that this jungle is right there in your palms.
Just close your eyes and then you’ll see that this jungle is right there in your palms
Just Breath
The air was thin. Too thin. It left me gaping like a carp above its pond.
The mountain was high. Yet, too short. I could have travelled further.
At the top, I peered at a circle of tall, rectangular boulders with edges smoothed from time. In the center of it was a stain of dry animal blood. Different tribal groups used to perform sacrifices to their gods up here all the time. Usually animals like lambs or goats. Sometimes humans.
Their history was lost for over half a millenium. But, as a historian, it was my job to rediscover it.
Slowly, I climbed over a mount of rocks to the center of the circle. “Ow.” I whispered to myself.
Gazing down at my left hand, I noticed a small gash. Must have cut myself on the rocks. I clasped my hand tight and held it to my chest.
I stared at the stones’ carvings, memorized. Such intricate work. Must have taken several years without the proper tools. Closing my eyes, I tried to imagine it. Sweat dripping off my forehead as I furrowed my eyes and tried to aim the chisel and hammer…
My hand filled with blood.
“Crap.” I murmured. This was going to cut my trip short. Didn’t want to risk infection.
A drop of blood fell from my hand and splattered on the sacrifice circle. As I applied pressure to the wound, I scrambled for the exit. Just as I was about to cross out of the circle, a strong gust of wind pushed me back. Back into the center.
I groaned and walked back to the edge when a voice called out to me. “It’s been a while.”
My eyes widened. I thought was alone up here. Slowly, I pivoted around to see a small child in a dress made of silk and feathers. “Who… who are you?”
“Who am I?” She echoed. “My real name is gone. Lost in a sea of lies. Who I am might as well be who you say I am. So tell me, girl, who am I?”
“I—I don’t know.”
At first, I thought she might be some kind of god, but I’ve studied ancient religions for the past six years, but I couldn’t piece together who this girl was.
“You’re not a god.” I cautiously answered. “But you’re not a human.”
“But who am I?”
I bit down on my nail. Come on, Meredith, think! You’re standing in the middle of an ancient sacrificial altar, who would be here? If not the god they pray to, then…
“You’re Death.”
“Perhaps.” She began to approach me. “But what constraint does death have if one never… ” She grazed my cheek gently with the tip of her finger. “Truly lives? So tell me, girl, is there truth in death? Or do the lies only become stronger?”
Hours later, I awoke in my bed in a cold sweat. My head swirled, and I began to doubt the reality of the whole ordeal. “Must have been a dream.” I muttered. “Or a nightmare.”
But the fresh scar on my left hand begged to differ.
I stared down at it. “What the fUC—”
The Orphanage
Poor dear Annie fell down the stairs trying to get a drink of water in December. Dear, dear Benedict went hiking and never came back. Caring Carla accidental drank rat poison. Daring Drizella decided to climb the mountain and was mummified by November. Evangelistic Evan believed too much and took a leap of faith off the roof. Fearful Fredrick's fight or flight instinct wasn't right this time. Gregarious Gabby just couldn't take rejection and did something horrible with a spoon and became a convict in May. Hungry Herb didn't think before rejecting Gabby and was gagged with a spoon. Ichabod took the story to heart in October. Jeering Jerry decided to play a prank on the cook, everyone had some peculiarly good stew on an August night. Keke tried to complete the challenge but didn't have a car so she used a train in June. Laughing Laura watched a comedy and turned a bright shade of blue in April. Melancholy Melanie ran into the wrong person one night and is now a hollowed-out puppet. Nancy decided to solve the wrong mystery. Oblivious Obert walked right off a cliff. Perspicacious Penny accidentally read the palm of a serial killer in February. Quackhood Quince just wouldn't shut her mouth when the gardener asked her to leave, now there is an odd lump by the rose bushes. Reluctant Richard finally got over his fear and committed, only for her to murder him on their second date in March. Slithery Severus bit a teacher and disappeared in May. Tall Talia hit a doorpost too hard. Undermining Ursula decided to undermine the law and was executed. Vivacious Vivia joined the wrong brothel in July. Weasely Wesley tried to fit into the pipes during a May flood. Xavier tried to shave his head and missed by about half afoot. Yackety Yvette was silenced in December with a sharp fork. Zealous Zavian just couldn't get zealous about life after a particularly bad Christmas.