Why am I still single?

The question asked again...

As if I'm somehow incomplete...

As if women all need men.

The truth is I'm still married...

I've fought for two long years.

To break free from an abusive prick,

who gets off on my fears.

But my heart belongs to Texas,

He left my poor heart reeling...

The only choice to say goodbye,

We're stuck, unresolved feelings.

I must protect my damaged heart,

I can't handle anymore hurt.

I push him back the way I know,

to old habits I revert.

And so I've got my Number One...

My current favorite distraction.

He makes me scream, he curls my toes,

He gives my body sweet satisfaction.

But I can't let him get too close,

My heart might get confused...

And so to keep my dumb heart safe,

I'll call on my Number 2.

A blue eyed dream, he looks like Texas...

He was the first bandaid that I found...

I squint my eyes, I see my love...

So I keep my Number 2 around.

And finally there is Number 3...

When 1 and 2 are slow to reply,

My messy life tends to explode,

So I keep Number 3 on standby.

Am I single because I sleep alone?

Am I taken by a love that bleeds?

Do I belong to the man I'm married to?

Or the man who's fulfilling my needs?

Relationships hurt long before they end;

there's no love that can offer salvation.

Fuck your forever, fuck your life

I'll fuck the hotboy's in constant rotation.

So I got asked that question today and I thought to myself, can you even ask that? 

Like what do expect me to say- I have this one guy in mind and I just waiting for the right time? Well, truth be told no one's ever asked me? I'm a sex slave and my contract doesn't allow me to have boyfriends? 

But like is that even a question? if there was something serious in past stopping me from 

finding a guy then why I would tell you- a random stranger!

I just laughed this silly question off- I just haven't found the right guy- but then I thought about and it's been playing on my mind,

I've gone over my past relationships and my almost relationship and truth be told:

Put a guy in front of me that I am not sexually attracted too, that's in a relationship, that I think is out my 'league', or that is gay, and I will be my self. Then I will go back to my group of girlfriends and they will be like "You, know he's ugly/he has a girlfriend/  he's gay right?- why are you flirting with him?" and my honest to god reaction inside and out is I was flirting? ummm no I was just talking, having a laugh, a dance, a good time.

On the other hand

Put a guy in front of me that I am sexually attracted too, that's not in a relationship, that I think I could 'get' in reality, or even someone that I know that likes me that way I cease up- I won't talk, I won't dance, I won't even laugh or make eye contact.

This has got me into a few awkward conversations with males I just want as friends (and one female), and let countless potential people I could have been perfectly happy with slip by.

Is it just me or do other people out there get it?

How do you over come that?

Oh and by the way, drink don't work; I've tried that.