I hear their laughter ringing through the room mocking teasing laughter.

I see their faces lit up with malicious glee ugly like the hyena - they've caught the scent of blood

I taste the blood in my mouth, warm, and realize I've bit my cheeks to keep the tears away.

I want to change my pants

Why do people exclude one another? It takes courage to come up to someone you don't know or a group of people that you don't feel like you "belong" with only to be shut down and excluded. We are all humans and we should be gracious, treating each other with respect. Include one another. The possibilities are endless if you do.

I'd like to change my age. Really.

I only began writing as a hobby two years ago and I quickly discovered that I love it so much.

It seems to come easily to me so that as I'm tapping words into this little app my brain is about two sentences ahead.

But I am in my sixties now, there is little hope of me becoming a full time paid up author.

But if I could go back to being say twenty years old, only in this year not in 1971, I would have a computer and the Internet at my disposal to write away my life and push to become a pro. What a dream. What a beautiful dream.

I want to change the fact that girls have no morals anymore . Growing up to be strippers , prostitutes , and porn stars. For girls to have more respect for themselves . I know there are plenty of girls who don't grow up to be those things , and have plenty of respect for themselves , but for the ones who don't that's what I wish they could be . The need higher standards. If you meet some man on the street who's willing to pay for sex, why would you give it to them ? Sex is a thing your supposed to share with one man, the man you marry, a man who loves you, a man who respects you enough to wait until marriage to try to have sex with you. You think a man you meet on the street , who you've never met before , and know nothing about cares about you at all? That they love you? I guarantee they do not. Because if they did they would take the time to get to know every detail about you , do sweet things for you , be a gentlemen for you, and not pay you to have sex with them. You think guys will respect you if your willing to have sex with them for money? No, they won't. And what does that make you? A whore. Sex shouldn't be a job, it should only come with love.

I also want to change boys. Boys need to have more respect for girls. Enough respect for girls where they choose one, and one only. Where you don't pay a girl to have sex with you. Where you don't take advantage of the club to see girls strip for you. And if you respected a girl, and got to know one enough, then you could keep just one and have one your whole life. But don't disrespect girls and look at them just for their boobs or butt, because what kind of man does that make you? It doesn't make you a man at all, but a pig. It makes you a pig. I know there are plenty of boys who respect girls and don't use them for themselves, but for the ones who do. Be a gentleman, and grow up, and learn respect for women.

Beating, gradually increasing

Rapidly they speed through

Flying everywhere

Bouncing

Out of control

I can't remember when I was ever able to control them

Something new

Something more to worry about

Something new to add to the massive pile of flying furies.

My

Thoughts

They fly everywhere

I've never been able to control them

I want to...

I yearn to

Dying to be able to control the way I look at him

The lust?

The love?

Dying to control the voices that constantly beat in my mind

The reason I can't sleep at night

The reasons why my blades have crisp stains on them

What I would give to just have control.....

.......over myself