Caution!

Cage contains a Bad Proser!

This creature joined the site to write

(so he may never get around to reading yours).

The beast only “likes” what he likes,

only comments when there is really something there

(but if something clicks he may stalk your entire back catalog,

in search of more treasures),

reposts once in a blue freakin’ moon,

never creates a challenge (doesn’t know why not),

loathes anguish and self-pity posts, yet…

despite all this he is mostly harmless, if a little loud,

so just ignore.

(If you are so kind hearted that you still feel compelled to feed him,

he enjoys peach cobbler, black coffee, and a happy puppy tale.)

WHEN AT YOUR WORST. YOU’ll WANT WORSE NEARER TO YOU.

Slinger of a curse or two. I cuss, smoke, drink, sometimes even stink. You see?

I’m a lot more like you than you think. Agree? That your in no condition to drive? Call an Uber One Star. You’ll save face when we arrive. And though unforced. All focus on my disgrace. While I ferry you from place to place.

Tipping early and often is recommended if I’m to keep up any pace. After witnessing all of my infractions yours won’t even leave a trace.

For the sum of a few dollars more. I’ll probably get in someone’s face. And publicly insult their race. Offer to jump on proverbial grenades. A ready wingman only if such is the case.

The friends a heavyweight.

We all know the importance of saving not just for a rainy day but for the future.

You need someone that you can trust with your hard earned cash.

Ok...that's not us. We're still trying to figure it out. Until we do please know that we will happily line our pockets with your cash and spend it wisely. We appreciate your hard work, thanks to you we don't have to. For every referral we will be giving at no extra cost to you a collector's item bumper sticker "Someone Madhof with My Money". So please, tell your momma, the mailman and your grandma!