Disposable Pull-Up pants are not just for big boy toddlers refusing to relinquish parental enslavement. They are not just for ancient unshaven Grampy stiffly propped up in the corner of your velveteen couch. They are also for the toiletless traveler refusing to take the chance of being seen with their pants down while seeking relief on the shoulder of the New Jersey Turnpike.

Conveniently interspersed every few exits, yes, there are so called comfort stations and I can see why some genius decided to call a place where one takes a dump a comfort station, since it is especially comfort-able to release the beast and drain the vein but I do wonder, when the term comfort station was first coined, couldn't there have been an innocent roadie or two walking in to one of those non descript cinder block buildings flummoxed at the sight of nothing but latrines and sinks while expecting a hug and a chicken pot pie? So why, one might ask, would any respectable person take on the odds of exposing their hiney, or worse yet, the flip side to an innocent traveling nun, in conjunction with the potential of being charged with indecent exposure by the potty police, when just off road indoors, there is privacy; comfort to be had?

I place the blame squarely on the sinister spiky spherical ever flitting Coronavirus particles. Even masked, those nasty tiny boogers are just itching to climb into either one of your nostrils, I know it and you know it, which is why when I knew I had to make a four plus hour trip I thought, but what about a bathroom break? And then I instantly thought, as if I googled it, "Why not?" Who but me will know what's under my shorts? Besides the handsome lady on the TV commercial does an awfully sexy spin lifting up her skirt and portrays a facial expression of deep contentment wearing them, so why wouldn't I dash off to Walmart for a pack of Depends?

I surmised the adult diapers would be located in the feminine hygiene aisle, and I was correct. As soon as my eyes locked in on the neon blue plastic six pack marked Depends, I happened to notice a nosey lurking cart inspector. You know the type. The person who sets their alarm at 5:30 a.m., not to go to work, but to walk the streets dragging their sleepy dog behind them as a decoy with the express purpose of slyly peeking into your recycle bin, counting the number of empty beer bottles. Who are they? The AA police? So I waited until she moved on but I wasn't taking any chances. Even though I didn't need any pads or plugs, I grabbed a few packages to conceal the necessary contraband from view. And there she was, as expected, still lurking just around the bend as I made my way to the self check-out registers pretending not to look into my cart. So just to let her know two could play, I made sure to stare just a little too long into her cart, finishing our encounter with a "what's up" to her with my chin, exemplifying "How do you like it? Take that!"

Go figure, as luck would not have it, the bar code didn't work. Feeling for a second like drop kicking the unmentionable under the register, before I could make my next move Slick Willy with the "how can I help you" button prominently pinned to his chest is on me like white on rice. Never making eye contact, he took care of my problem so fast, when he whipped the package into the plastic shopping bag, for a second I wasn't sure if he had decided to drop kick the package under the register for me as a kind gesture.

After making it home, I looked in my bathroom mirror noticing the red blotches on my neck had subsided when I decided it might be in my best interest to test drive my purchase right then and there, since it would not be cool to experience the results of failure whilst crossing the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, coming out on the other side sitting in a yellow puddle on top of my fabric upholstery. No need for any further details, let's just wrap this up by taking my word for it that the product works, calling this disclosure a one time anonymous review of the product.

Five Star.

And thankfully, afterall, like a big boy, I was dry when I arrived at my destination, so other than my happy ending, there is no point to this story, but that doesn't make the unused product any less useful.

It wasn’t a bird, it was a plane, I’m telling you. I’m not insane; I can’t alter the way my dreams self-create. Anyways, I wasn’t awake because I was in a compromised mental state, and who would choose to wake up when they were riding on top of an aircraft, literally side-saddle on top of an aircraft, just to finish working on an essay draft?

So that’s really the reason that I didn’t turn my English homework in on time; well, that and the fact that I didn’t sleep too well last night. Really, this is partially on me because I didn’t ask for an extension. I really didn’t want to email you and then repent it, because you’re a busy man and this is a petty request, so I thought it would be all right if I turned everything in before the test.

Why couldn’t I sleep well? That’s a good question. Unfortunately, some of the blame is on you—forgive me for being impetuous, but I’ll have to rush through the explanation. I was deep in concentration at the library, sequestered in a corner mustering the courage to refresh my rustiness on the subject, when a dark drowsiness, a solemn sleepiness, stuck its claws in my mind, so I let go of the pencil and opted to recline.

See, I had a terrible nightmare in which you stared into my soul, laughing fanatically as your hands rolled up balls of paper and threw them at me. Your mighty red grading pen swept me off my feet, a feat all too easy considering everything was scaled to thrice the size of me. A single tear of mine turned into a circular puddle on the floor, a hurdle in my rush to the door with nothing more than a will to somehow survive this judgement day (despite the delay I introduced when I chose to procrastinate, a decision induced by maybe one too many games of beer pong or one too many tear drops on the keyboard of my laptop).

Professor, you should really understand that there’s little that I could do. I was a frozen statue after that vivid unreality, aware that I was awake but unable to do anything but remain in that chair surrounded by my bad decisions and the ones still pending (hey, those might well have a happy ending, we can’t deny that).

And then! A godsend, a re-emergence into unconsciousness, where, as I said before, I was soaring with wind on my fingertips and an itching, undeniable thirst for the freedom that I so clearly had.

Maybe you could accept this email as my submission! It’s the most work I’ve done all semester, and you know that’s not fiction (see, I know some literature jargon). Please reconsider the F you’ve affixed to my transcript, as I’m sure that this somewhat fits into what the prompt is, based off the assignment you sent to me last month:

Re: We need to discuss your incredibly prolonged procrastination on the 20-page analysis, my office on Friday.

Chase smiled. His hand came forward to take hold of Susanna’s. He led her to the dance floor. But when they hit the dance floor~ Chase seemed to have lost control over his own body & bones.

She watched in fright as he stretched his arm backward over his head. It circled toward his back making his arm look like half a pretzel. It was not something easy to watch. Chase laughed & got ready to show many more dance moves. He stomped on the dance floor like a charging rhino.

Susanna wondered what YouTube videos Chase’s been watching that portray such dance moves. Hmm, she actually thought they were intriguing.

After a little while, she could not help it & soon she was also dancing like Chase. Or more like she was being attacked by a swarm of wasps. Her hands were in a swatting motion over her head.

The others on the dance floor scratched their heads. They thought maybe these two had a little something with an extra kick which was making them move somewhat like headless chickens.

**************************************

Thought of sharing the way my cousin made me laugh & inspired me to write something based on the disco dancing moves.

Note: Inspired from watching a dance video of the older dance moves from the disco times~ My cousin said ‘the moves were something else & it looked like an emergency team was needed close by after all the dancing.’ lol

These are moves that I will pass on to teach any one who wants to add some new dance moves to their dance routine. Free dance lessons! Seriously, great music here, too. Love MJ’s music & dancing as well. <3

#Movetothebeat!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5P-TXxoWTSE

20th July, 2020.

All Rights Reserved

Family (me, brother 1, brother 2, sister, Mother, Father): eating sushi for lunch from small plastic containers.

Father (leaves the room for a few moments).

Brother 2 (looks at sushi container, which has one piece left): “How many were there to start with?”

Mother: “I had two.”

Me: “I had three.”

Brother 1: “I had two.”

Sister: “I had two.”

Mother (to me): “Wait, how many did you have?”

Me: “I had three.”

Mother: “You had three?”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

Brother 2: “Wait, but that doesn’t add up, because two plus two plus two plus three equals nine, and there were more than nine.”

Mother: “Yes, but didn’t you have two? No, three.”

Me: “No, I had three, not Brother 2.”

Brother 1: “There were ten pieces total.”

Me: “No, there were twelve.”

Mother: “Twelve?”

Me: “Yes: two rows of six.”

Mother: “Oh! Ok, that makes sense.”

Brother 2: “No, that doesn’t add up.”

Sister: “Why do we even care?”

Me: “Yes, why do we even care?”

Mother: “Ok, two plus two plus two plus three…Wait, did Dad have any?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Brother 2: “Try counting again.”

Me: “Wait, what are we trying to do again?”

Brother 1: “Figure out how many pieces of sushi we started with.”

Me: “You didn’t just count them before you opened the container?”

Brother 1: “Who counts things before they open them? Did you?”

Me: “No, I never saw it.”

Mother: “Ok: one, plus two, plus two-“

Brother 1: “Where did the one come from?”

Me: “Wait a minute!” (Jumps from my seat and points at the refrigerator). “There’s an unopened pack in the fridge!”

Brother 1: (runs to refrigerator and takes out sushi but drops the container, spilling the rolls all over the floor). “Oh no.”

Me: “Count them, hurry!”

Mother: (rushes over to throw the soiled food away). “How many were there?”

Me: “Count them! Quickly! Before you throw them out!”

Brother 1: “There’s ten!”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Brother 1 and Mother: “Yes, there’s ten.”

Me: “Count them!”

Brother 1: “We did!”

Sister: “But we only ate nine.”

Brother 2: “There was one left, remember: here it is.”

Father: (walks back into the room and sees the sushi he had bought less than fifteen minutes ago all over the floor). “What the?-“

Me: “There’s ten!”

Father: “What?”

Family: (pauses and look at each other before laughing).

Hello! I’m Sam and I’m the head

Of Hells welcome committee!

We’re so glad you’ll be joining us

For all of eternity!

We get a bad rep down here,

So let’s set the record straight.

After some time, we’re sure you’ll find,

This place is pretty great!

We keep the temperature down here

In the high 90’s.

But it’s more of a dry heat,

So it feels like 10,000 degrees.

The second circle of Hell features

An olympic-sized lava pool.

It burns the first time you jump in

But after, the pain’s miniscule.

Then there’s our Michelin 3-star buffet,

Do try the gruel and slop

(The special ingredient is demon meat,

And we only use the cream of the crop).

Every Friday night we host

A concert and bonfire,

We hope you like Smash Mouth and Creed,

They’re the only bands we hire.

Now, we’ll be honest with you,

Is there torture? Yes, a bit.

We’ll spare you the nasty details,

Just know you’ll get used to it.

So once again, welcome to Hell,

We hope you enjoy your stay!

Really, you don’t have a choice,

And we like it that way.

There we are, lying in bed. Day 46 of quarantine. Night 2 of going to sleep with an empty blanket at the foot of the bed. Three days ago, we were going for walks and teaching tricks to our beloved nine year old dog. Then suddenly, we were at the vet, kissing her goodbye for the last time. Now, the world was rent in two.

“All I want,” my husband moans, “is to go for a swim. To take a break from being sad. Remember when we would go swim three days a week? Now instead of the Freshman Fifteen, we’re working our way toward the Covid Nineteen, am I right?”

I try to laugh, and put my tear-stained face close to his. “I know. It hurts so bad. Our stationary bike isn’t making it better, either.” An idea springs forward in my mind. “I wish they made a stationary pool.”

“A what?”

“A stationary pool? Like a treadmill, but a pool. It would have a current, and you could just swim against it. Wouldn’t need to be all that big. Why don’t they make those?”

“Actually, they might.”

“How much do you think something like that would cost?”

Mike reaches for his phone on the nightstand, and a quick search reveals something called an Endless Pool for sale for $4,595.

Uh oh.

$4,595 is a lot of money, but not so much money as to be totally out of the question. If we wanted to make an Endless Pool happen, we could make it happen. What began as a ridiculous, just-for-fun internet search has suddenly become a much more serious conversation than either of us were planning to have. The Endless Pool is actually within reach.

Through the darkness, I feel myself making what we call, the Grocery Store Face. The Grocery Store Face is timeless. All around the world, since the dawn of time, couples have both wielded and fought against the Grocery Store Face. At supermarkets, garage sales, boat shows, petting zoos, Costco, and Home Depot, the Grocery Store Face can be found: it’s not on the list, but now that I’ve seen it, I just have to have it - and you’d be a monster to deny me this happiness.

Mike is wise to me. “Grocery Store Face?”

We poke around some more, and come to the Endless Pool Swim Machine website. Image after image of beautiful people and beautiful pools flood the phone. We view the three different models: E500, E700, and E2000. The E2000 model is a 20’ long vessel that is part pool, part hot tub. Obviously, we’d like that one, but we decide to research the mid-grade model instead. We are practical people, after all.

That there is no pricing on the website does not concern us. The promotional videos are full of gorgeous people in palatial homes, but we don’t care. They glide across their sweeping lawns towards their Endless Pool for a sunset swim. Our lawn is anything but sweeping - and looks to be made of broom bristles - but these are trivial matters.

We watch a few more videos. We watch some independent reviews on Youtube. We browse the optional accessories. Where would we put our Endless Pool? We’d need to pour a concrete pad in the yard, and probably have to crane it over the house. Good thing we both work in construction - Mike can get the concrete for cheap, and I can work my contacts for a crane rental. The HOA would probably have to sign off, but that’s a minor detail, and our neighbor down the street is the president. Does the pool subcontractor from my last project distribute Endless Pools? I make a mental note to call him tomorrow and check. All told, we’d probably be in it about $6,500. If we moved some things around in our savings, we could have our pool in two months.

As we read about the ordering process, 45 minutes into this research project, a shadow briefly crosses my mind. It’s too complex for a $5,000 purchase. Something doesn’t seem quite right. Something seems amiss.

“Which model did we see for sale?” I ask. “Can you go back to that very first page?”

Mike has a hard time finding the Endless Pool for sale. The shadow in my mind grows. Finally, he finds it again.

“Here it is - $4,595. Do you see a model number anywhere? I can’t tell from the picture.”

I study the listing, and I see what I had missed before. The shadow swells, swallows me whole, and my dreams are crushed upon the rocks as waves of disappointment, embarrassment, and hilarity crash overhead. Of course we're not getting an Endless Pool. How could we have been so naive? There is nothing to do but laugh.

“Mike - we’re idiots. The listing isn’t for the pool itself. The listing is only for the cover.”

“Hey Luke, where are you going?” asked my brother as I cat-walked down the stairs.

“None of your business,” I said and reached the door.

“What will I reply if mommy asks about you?” he asked with a curious face.

“Tell her that I went to the coffee shop to take a look at the newspaper,” I replied avoiding him.

“Haha, I have found the answer for my question from your own mouth,” he said in a surge of victory. I smiled at his innocence and marched out.

And by the way, hi, I am Luke Glover. My friends call me “NERDY” and my family calls me “COWARDY CUSTARD.”But hey, please don’t stop reading this piece after hearing about me. I have written this as my brother Alex urged me to. He told me that though I may be a nerd sometimes, I am worthy, because he loves hearing all my embarrassing situations. Okay, now let’s back off to my story.

I ran to the little hill as fast as my legs could take. You can ask a question; Why should I go to a hill ? Well, it is because the little hill is a place which attracts tourists and I thought that I can get a girl for me, since she will be new to the place and will not be aware that I am a nerd. I told you, I am a coward.

In less than three minutes I was there, lost in the crowd which stood there gazing at the little hill. And guess what, I saw a beautiful young brunette in sunglasses. I stood there staring at her beauty that I didn’t realize that I have been staring at her for ages.

“Hello sir, could you please tell me what you are doing?” said a voice behind me.

“I have no time to reply,” said I as my eyes refused to turn back.

“Hello sir, could you look at me?” said the voice again in a harsher tone.

And stupid me, I replied “No, get lost.”

Now the man who was torturing me with his grunting voice came forward, blocking my view.

“Who the hell are you? Get out of my way,” I said.

“You wanna know who I am?” he asked with his eyes bulging as if they were to pop out any second. And his dirty long beard moved here and there like a swing with flies buzzing around.

“No, you don’t have to explain, I am enjoying my day today. Look at her. Look at her hair. I would rather go and make her my soulmate than wasting my time watching your ugly face, you roly-moly fatso,” I answered.

“Forget it, she is my wife,” he said shouting like a hungry dog. His voice was loud enough for her to hear and she turned back at once.

“What? You think I am a fool? She looks like a teenage girl. You will never get her even in your dreams,” I said in a voice so stern.

“What’s up honey? Who is this guy? Your friend?” she asked in a sing-song voice.

“Nothing baby, he was asking when we were married,” he said, smirking at me.

“Four years of course and who is he?” she asked, removing her glasses.

“Well he..,” he began but I interrupted him “I was his classmate,” I said. Ugh, how can he be my classmate? Do I look that old?

“Oh, fine. It's late. Can we leave, sweetheart?” she asked and I saw them leave, holding hands together.

Though my eyes couldn’t believe this drama, I heard my mind whisper, “Stay calm, she is not the only girl. Turn left.”I obeyed the orders and to my surprise I saw a cute girl with blue eyes as dark as sapphire. I stood watching her beauty and I didn’t realize that I slipped the word, “Charming”.

And I heard a girl say, “Excuse me”. This time I turned at once and I was shocked to see the same girl standing behind me!

“A ghost!” I shouted and ran to the other side of the crowd.

“We are twins, you idiot,” she said. But my ego didn’t allow me to look back. Yet, I didn’t lose my confidence. I waited for another girl to come across and yes, I saw one in a corduroy jacket who seemed ultra-modern. I didn’t wish to waste my time, at least this time. Behind me was an old florist waiting for customers. And I bought a dark red rose and reached her.

“Uh... hey... I am Luke...You...uh...you...look good...I mean great... I...I love you..,”before I could complete, she slapped my face so hard and one of her long nails pierced through my cheek and it transformed into a ripe-red cherry matching the colour of blood that came out. Tears were waiting to roll down my cheeks, but I didn’t have the courage to stand there any longer and I had no option but to race back to home.

I cried. I yelled. I screamed. I howled. And finally, my house was there as still as it had always been. I opened the door. Alex was there, where I left him, with an angry face.

“It took you two hours and thirty two minutes to read the newspaper?” he growled. He was never wrong in calculations. Especially when it has something to do with me. I laid on my bed facing the ceiling.

He sat beside me and in no minute, he yowled, “Oh, Luke! What’s wrong with your face? You are bleeding!”

He ran to his room and came back with some cotton and a bandage. He gave me first aid and looked at me with eyes of agony.

“What happened ?” he asked.

“Nothing, I just fell on the ground,” I said.

“No, look at that; It's like a fist.” He is clever, I thought, cleverer than me.

“Okay, Noel beat me,” I replied in disgust.

“Come on, Noel’s fingers are much bigger. You’re lying.” Ah, man, let me rest for sometime.

“Okay, you win,” I said and rolled on my bed.

“Tell me, or else I will keep pestering,” he said. I knew my brother. He is the best pest in the world, so I begged him not to say this to anyone for heaven’s sake and he promised. When I narrated him this long tale of utter nonsense, he laughed and laughed and laughed till he cried. He was the one who urged me to write this, insisting that nobody will know who I am. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the end of the story. I am sorry I am not good at conclusions, well, good at nothing. So thank you for wasting your time, reading this story of a nerd. Signing off, wishing you a good day opposite to mine. Goodbye!

#fiction #humour

Well, my day was going to crap. I honestly had good intentions for today, a plan. I would get up at 7, hit snooze until 7:30, and then sit at my computer and stare at the screen. That’s right, I’m a writer, so being frustrated all the time is part of the gig. Anyway, I am writing a murder mystery. I just can’t figure out the ending and how everything will come together.

So my craptastic day started with me waking up at 6:34. Rough night, so I knew there was no hope of getting back to sleep. After lugging myself out of bed, I went to go make myself breakfast but there was no milk. Great. What is cereal without milk? I sigh, now I have to run to the store to get milk for my breakfast, and being as stubborn as I am, there would be no breakfast without milk. Grabbing my coat, I head out the door towards my new adventure, yay.

So I’m now at the store, ok, and I go to the dairy section all the way at the back of the store. Unlike most people who would’ve stopped to buy something else that they vaguely need, I am in no mood to partake in the capitalistic strategies that make up grocery layouts. I am hungry. One good thing did happen though, they had 2% on sale.

Heading to the lines that were full of elderly morning-ers, I impatiently wait. So here I am, finally next and putting my things on the belt when this d-bag in front of me decides to make his problem everyone else's by pulling out a gun; man, isn't my morning great?

"Get on the ground," he yells at the cashier, not even stopping to look at me or any other customers, "and hand over the dough."

The poor kid at the register, tired and from what I can see, probably stoned, turns, and looks the man dead in the eye. Just sighing he says, "Dude, really? It's 2019, there is most likely $15 max in here."

The man, obviously unhappy and surprised by this answer, doesn't know what to do now. His plan has been destroyed by changing consumer practices and a kid who is as high as a skyscraper. Mustering up all his leftover pride while still pointing the gun at the cashier, he says, "Look, I'm going to take my stuff and go..."

You know, I'm not one to judge, but looking at this guy's stuff he's buying, really stealing, I'm so done. All he has is frosted loft cookies. F-ing cookies. The audacity. And all while staring at these cookies, I get an idea for the end of my book.

Not wanting to let this idea go, I push past the man, swatting his gun away, take the kid's scanner, scan my gallon of 2% milk, pay with cash, and leave. And that, ladies and gentleman, is how I finished my book and had the most mediocre breakfast I've ever had.

I woke on the wrong side of the bed,

Quite literally actually, 

But i've decided the bed was on the wrong side of me,

Because it is only fair i get a win,

Not everything gets to be my fault,

The heater in my room was all the way down to ten degrees,

So as the blankets went off,

Antarctica decided to come in,

Why the visit today??

Of all days…

I just knew something was going to come next,

And im quite sure im a physic because the water running in the was ice cold,

Apparently the water heater wasn't working,

And all I kept thinking was “ohhh my lucky day!!”.

After hopping up and down in attempt to make myself a human popsicle,

I was finally done swimming with the penguins,

I can't get much worse i said to myself,

That was my mistake,

It could get much worse,

It always gets much worse,

Next, clothes…..

Clothes?? 

Ohh noo!!! Clothes,

Clothes that are still wet in the washing machine!!

Now i thought, “why am i so dumb???”.

And in my old hand-me-down jacket, zipped right up to my neck,

And the most awkward shorts ever,

I did that little tiptoe run you do when your afraid of being caught,

Zipping past all the doors in the corridor to get to the laundry room,

And wait for it..,

LOCKED!!

It was locked!!

I let out my famous strangled noise and refrained from kicking down the door,

“No, no violence does not solve your problems” i reminded myself,

i could only control my temper so much,

So i stomped back into my room, too angry to tiptoe anyways,

Now i look back i probably had smoke coming out of my ears.

Then it struck me,

I had my backups,

I always had that back up uniform for days like this,

Yes, yes, yes!!!

Then just as i slid on the uniform,

The universe decided it hated me,

No it decided it utterly despised me,

And so i know it was the universe that sent fate, no karma,

It sent karma at it's best to mess with me,

And so karma took it's bony fingers, which was in terrible need for a manicure i must say,

And gave me that dramatic push,

I slipped,

Fell,

and smashed my cream open,

Which took revenge by conveniently spreading its content all over my white shirt,

@@!!#@%!!!!!!!

The part that hurt so much was the fact that karma was meant to be my friend,

I was so enraged,

I wasn't speaking english anymore.

I stood up to asses the damage, 

It wasn't fixable,

Somehow i decided that the wall of my room had to pay for the mess that was my life,

And i drove my knuckles into the wall,

The bang echoed through my room,

I would imagine the people in the next room heard it too.

I wont say that it didn't help,

The sound of the collision,

The dent in the wall,

The tingling pain in my knuckles,

It did make me feel better for a split second,

But then i realized the “tingling in my knuckles”

was knuckles were throbbing and bleeding,

Which was fantastic,

One more reason to smile, isn't that right.

See there was a reason i did not punch things and threw or broke them instead,

My knuckles aren't four like a normal person

I have three knuckles on my right hand and two on my left,

Making the pain balance of a punch really unequal,

It was a weird quality i had come to accept,

But thats not the point,

The point was,

I didnt want to go out looking like i just came fresh from a murder scene,

Now what? i thought,

Holding my bloody hand away from from my already stained white shirt,

I decided i wasn't gonna be dracula anytime soon,

So, under my jackfrost water my hand went,

I didn't want to use the bandages i had under the sink i had for “emergencies”,

So with tissue and tape,

I was finally ready to depart,

So i said goodbye to antarctica and left my igloo,

I walked and i walked,

And my feet suddenly felt cold,

And lo and behold,

I was wearing flip flops,

UGHHHHH!!!

I'll be right backkkk…………

God looked down on Earth below,

For the creatures had put on quite the show,

The divine gaze was amused,

And to this day it continues to muse.

For the cat was barking it’s heart out,

While the fish in the lake did nothing but shout,

The elephants walked on sticks so thin,

Hippos strutted with pointed chins.

The nightangle soumded like a man who would die,

The ostrich flew across the sky,

The woodpecker broke its beak,

And the eagle lay there, weak.

The lion feared the deer,

Rabbits gallivanted in cliffs sheer,

The fox was no longer cunning,

And the sloth beat the leopard at running.

God was no stranger to the earth’s queer ways,

He simply laughed and called it a day,

And the next day during sunrise,

The owls once again became wise.