Copyright © 2017 Lilly T. 

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

This is a book filled with poems, some might contain graphic imagery of substance abuse, unhealthy relationships and suicide. Don't read if you are sensitive about said topics. 

YOU light flames inside of me

dead in the wake of night

begging me to let you take me

up into the clouds

YOU make everything technicolor

turning me into a wonderland of colours

dancing upon each other

crying and bleeding

You divide my heart

eating each portion for a different meal

frying, sauteing in a pan

filled to the brim with love

YOU make me happy

no matter how much pain

YOU give me

i still stay

He was all kinds of wrong

From the top

of his tousled hair

                                                                        To the bottom on his worn through soles

He was a mirage of different shades of blue

A bright m

                 o

                    n

                       o

                           t

                              o

                                 n

                                     e

That d a n c e d across my eyes

into

my retinas

then straight into my temporal lobe

and 

s

t

r

a

i

g

h

t 

to my

tiny

cold

heart

She was cold,

alone.

He was everywhere,

they all knew him,

she was barely awake,

living in a land of books,

filled with pages of equations,

and werewolves,

and they were parallel universes.

she was smart,

he was popular,

she would never smoke,

he loved it,

the smoke filled him,

adoring his skin,

kissing his lips,

destroying his heart.

They were living in parallel universes.

One black and white,

the other blue,

and when they both collided.

The sky exploded in an array of colour,

Reds

Purples

Yellows

Greens and

blues

But none were as beautiful as their love

The cigarette that hung in his lips

was hers.

The book in her hands

was his.

The flame in the room

was theirs.

Their love

was a disaster.

It was flames burning in water,

lungs filled with Carbon Dioxide.

Burning,

aching,

touching,

killing,

Taking hate from love,

chaos from order,

bravery from fear,

and happiness from despair.

Everything burned her:

his touch

his kiss

his words

his body

his cigarettes

and her lies

those burnt the worst

they clung to her skin

clogging her nose

drying her tears

deleting his number

his voice

his face

his touch

his body

and her mistakes

No matter how she said it,

No matter who,

She was exactly a whore.

A beautifully intrigued dead soul

Brain gone

Heartless and sucked dry

The cold flames burnt her skin,

Licking the flesh torn wounds,

Running her dry of lust,

Knowing she had none.

They left her,

A deflated frozen heart

Hair fuzzed

overly fucked

I don't know

I've never known

I could have told you that

                                                                                                      You'll never know me

                                                                                                    You'll never understand

                                                                                                     You're you and I'm me

                                                                                                                    I'm me

me

There's always been a difference

One that you choose to ignore

One I always saw

                                                                                                Hate is such a strong word

                                                                                                       But I hate you,

                                                                                                      I hate this

I hate

me

I hate who

I've become

Whenever she decided to smile

It was never because she was actually happy

A girl like her could barely feel

The words spun

pages covered in ink

sprawled across her desk and floor

Over the mountain of a bed

people on the wall

she wanted nothing more to end it all

the torture of feeling

she hated it

but relished in all the pain

succedding a breakdown always attempt to smile

the hardest part is knowing it's never over

it never ends

the pills

the drinks

the drugs

it's as if they taunt you

they play with you

Yank you across the floor and beat you

the sweet joy of it

they relish in your pain

smell the sadistic smiles and distraught eyes

the screams of terror and ripping wrists

the tears of sweet, sweet agony 

and breathless limp foaming bodies

succedding a breakdown, always attempt to