her soul died half a decade ago,

in my arms;

in my sight;

in my heart.

it's an enduring mistake i have to conquer,

for the vision of her death still haunts me,

am i to be blame for this?

or must i blame her?

her soul died half a decade ago,

in my room;

in front of me;

in darkness.

i want to erase the memory,

i killed her, didn't i?

it's an error of eternity,

and i don't know what to do.

her soul died half a decade ago,

inside the box i built;

inside the system i created;

inside of me.

it's a mistake, i swear--

a mistake i have to endure;

a mistake i have to change;

a mistake that needs learning.

then i looked at myself now,

how do i learn from this fatal mistake?

i must reflect;

i must surrender.

how do i?

i must accept;

i must focus;

i must know the consequences.

how do i?

i must think;

i must listen;

i must admit.

how do i?

i must understand;

i must change;

i must not repeat.

how do i?

i must bring her back;

i must call the Creator;

i must not lose myself again.

then she's back,

and she learned from her wrongdoings.

then i'm back,

and i learned from my wrondoings.

i wish i could kill myself tonight--

with my eyes so dark and sharp--

to see if i could still feel pain,

to see if i could still bleed.

i wish i could kill myself tonight--

with my words like perilous knives--

to see if i could keep my heart at rest,

to see if i could keep the numbness in my chest.

i wish i could kill myself tonight--

with my own blooded hands--

to see if i could stop the quivering it caused,

to see if i could move it like the old times.

i wish i could kill myself tonight--

with a death song i composed myself--

to see if anyone could hear my pleas,

to see if you could listen for just a moment.

i wish i had the guts to kill myself last night,

so i won’t be able to write this piece;

so you won’t be able to read this piece.

i wish...you prayed for me.