I hope I make you feel like a sunset 

Twisting swirls of melted orange

I want to be the earth who catches you when you set for the night 

Let me engulf you 

Wrap yourself around me and keep me safe and warm in the dark 

I hope I make you feel like a sunset

The star of the show 

Everyone watching you be you 

I am in awe of your beauty. 

You're the star even as the stars are peeking out from under you

I hope I make you feel like a sunset 

The one part of my day that I stop everything for 

My little sunset lighting up my life

Please don't ever turn off your light 

I'm in love with the Coco

Coco is her name though

But if she was a drug I would snort her every day

And take myself to lands far away

Where it is just her and just me

Nothing in between

No barriers making us scream

Or parents killing our dream

Hot cocoa on a winter's night

Comforting me as I hold her tight

We both know this feels right 

I'm in love with the Coco

Lust

drips

Off

fingertips

I

Need

One

Touch

Of

You.

People like to hide money

They bury it in chests in the ground, they stuff it away into bank accounts, they shove it into the crevices in their mattress, all for the fake security of knowing that one day it will be there when they need it...

But it just sits there. It sits there and takes up human space, not needed, not used, just some security of knowing that you are "safe" with the blanket of crumbled green papers you have knitted yourself. Savings accounts are saved for years, lifetimes. But they are never spent on the small fortunes that we wish we had. They are always saved for something "bigger".

But what if it was gone? What if it disappeared and slipped away into a black hole while you slept in the middle of the night?

Your world would break in half.

Security is just a myth.

Greed is a lifestyle.

Who ever decided that a green paper could save everything you have?

Greed manifests itself in the fingertips of everyone who has ever held a green paper, like a disease, it never goes away.

Today is your birthday 

And I'm writing these words to prove to the world that I am over you, that I have moved on

But it's your birthday

And all I can think about is you

And how you're probably smiling right now 

Surrounded by friends and family and who knows maybe a new girl

You're probably smiling at her

At her stupid curves 

At her stupid smile

At her stupid eyes 

Another year older

Another year since we were together

Last time we said goodbye was when you held me in your arms and I cried

I cried for you to leave me

Even though I'm the one who left you

I cried for you to go away to school

For you to meet new girls

For you to forget how to look at me

With that look you used to have in your eyes

The look of lust

Of wonder

Of love

Love has a look and I've seen it in you

But it's your birthday today 

And you're probably eating cake 

Happy with your life and your fortunes

And I don't have a present for you

Because if I were to tell you happy birthday

You would look at me with tears in your eyes

Disgust in your face

Sadness in your heart

Weight in your chest

And whisper thank you

Even though you want to tell me to stop hurting you

To walk away. 

The last time I touched you was when we said goodbye

When I grabbed the cloth of your sweatshirt outside the coffee shop

And cried even though I tried to hold it all inside

And you held me in your arms

You told me it was all ok

Even though I had broken you into an undone puzzle

You found the strength to hold me

So happy birthday. 

Happy birthday to the one who broke

To the one who let me break him

To the one who still finds peace in our conversations 

Even though I broke you. 

Happy birthday 

I dyed my hair red

Like her nails

Fingering their way through my hair playing with all of my unruly tangles

Red like the sunburn on his shoulders

Which I kiss to try and cool down with my tongue

But I think it only makes him feel hotter

Red like her lips under the dim lighting of my bedroom

Where she grabs my neck and pushes me against the wall

Red like his favorite T shirt

Which I put on and swim inside of like a dress after he has pleasured us both and we fall into the sheets together 

Red like her panties which I slowly peel off of her sexy curves making her let out little sighs of suspense as I caress her legs

Red like his truck where we sang together and he touched me for the first time on top of the hill behind his high school

Red like the glass of wine that I had to drink before giving myself to her and letting her control my body better than anyone else ever had

Red like the roses he gave me after we had fought, thinking that I was some cheap Bitch who would accept an easy fix

Red like my bleeding, broken heart after she left and never came back, after she chose a man over me

Red like the sunset on that night where he and I made love in the shower while my parents were asleep, desperately trying to keep our urges quiet 

Red like my curtains where she playfully hid her naked body but let me look at the outline of each and every curve through the fabric

Red like his puffy eyes after the break up

Red like her bathing suit which she wore to the beach-to our spot on our beach-where we swam together, and I undid the ties of her top

Red like the blush on my cheeks after hearing her say I love you. After hearing him say it too. 

My hair is red 

Bright and screaming, beckoning you to come back to me once again and hold my heart in your hand. 

But there isn't just one shade of red. There are two. There is his and there is hers. 

Which red do I wish to see?

For a whole year I have tried to get over you

But I'm just not

To do things without you, to meet other people, to forget you

But I just can't 

To let you go, to let you be free

But I just won't let go

To let you love your life without me, without my burden, without our fights

But I just don't know how to be without you. 

You must drink perfume, cause your breath is so sweet

You must eat views for breakfast, cause, "we are what we eat"

You must be the sun, cause I tan from your heat

You must be a test, cause on you I'd never cheat

You must know me the best, the shoes to my feet

I must be in love, cause when I look at you, my heart skips a beat