Happy Birthday

Today is your birthday 

And I'm writing these words to prove to the world that I am over you, that I have moved on

But it's your birthday

And all I can think about is you

And how you're probably smiling right now 

Surrounded by friends and family and who knows maybe a new girl

You're probably smiling at her

At her stupid curves 

At her stupid smile

At her stupid eyes 

Another year older

Another year since we were together

Last time we said goodbye was when you held me in your arms and I cried

I cried for you to leave me

Even though I'm the one who left you

I cried for you to go away to school

For you to meet new girls

For you to forget how to look at me

With that look you used to have in your eyes

The look of lust

Of wonder

Of love

Love has a look and I've seen it in you

But it's your birthday today 

And you're probably eating cake 

Happy with your life and your fortunes

And I don't have a present for you

Because if I were to tell you happy birthday

You would look at me with tears in your eyes

Disgust in your face

Sadness in your heart

Weight in your chest

And whisper thank you

Even though you want to tell me to stop hurting you

To walk away. 

The last time I touched you was when we said goodbye

When I grabbed the cloth of your sweatshirt outside the coffee shop

And cried even though I tried to hold it all inside

And you held me in your arms

You told me it was all ok

Even though I had broken you into an undone puzzle

You found the strength to hold me

So happy birthday. 

Happy birthday to the one who broke

To the one who let me break him

To the one who still finds peace in our conversations 

Even though I broke you. 

Happy birthday