If I had a choice

Where would I be?

If I had a choice

Would you love me?

If I had a choice to go far away

If I had a choice could I stay?

If I had a choice

To dream and dream

If I had a choice

Would you let me be?

If I had a choice

To walk in the rain

If I had a choice

Could I do it all day?

If I had a choice

To scream and shout

If I had a choice

Could I let it all out?

If I had a choice

To walk naked and bare

If I had a choice

I wouldn’t care

If I had a choice

To cry tears of blood

If I had a choice

Would you clean it up?

If I had a choice

To be hurt inside

If I had a choice

Would you let me cry?

If I had a choice

To be happy and live

If I had a choice

To smile and grin

If I had a choice

To skip around

If I had a choice

To sing out loud

If I had a choice

To be left alone

If I had a choice

To moan and groan

If I had a choice

Wail and cry

If I had a choice

Would you let me die?

If I had a choice

To choose one of these things

If I had a choice…….

What would it be?

My heart is like a black hole

Love travels in and out.

The sadness eats at my soul

And I am forever tired and weary.

Wanting to do more but can't.

Wanting to be more but won't.

The desire to be

Is no more....

My heart is spent on trying.

I'm weak from all my worry.

My shoulders are tense and knotted

And my face aches from all the crying.

What should I do that hasn't been done?

What should I try next?

It seems as if I've done everything I can

But end up back in the same place.

Forever sad.

Forever hurt.

Forever crying.

My smile is a flat line.

And the color has drained from my face.

Life's smell is pungent and vile

Making me want to curl up in my chest.

You wonder why I'm morose?

You wonder why I'm hurting?

If you could stop for a minute and hear my pleas...

If you could just stop ignoring.

Maybe you'll see my tears

And hear my shrieks of pain.

Maybe you'll take the time to listen

And tell me you love me again.

But until then I'll be here

Until then I'll be waiting.

For you to give me the love I need

For you to help me stop hurting.

The choice is truly up to you

What more can I say or do?

As soon as you change your ways

The less likely I'll end up in my grave.

~Dejah Sibblies

Trapped inside a box, I feel

Trapped inside a box.

There is no more room to feel

There is not room to love.

My heart is solid like a stone

It will not bend or break.

I'd rather keep myself closed off

Than love to hurt again.

I do not want to love

I'd rather not receive.

If I could stand back afar

I'd rather bleed and bleed.

Feeling has become so foreign

Love does not exist.

To be alone is best for me

To be alone... It fits.

To hurt crushes my inner being

To love is even worse.

I'd rather live inside a box

Than hurt and hurt an hurt.

~Dejah Sibblies