I close my eyes

To hide from the darkness.

I'm home,

But my heart isn't here.

The silence

Is so loud.

You're right here,

But why do I feel so alone?

Surrounded by so many

So called friends.

Yet she sits alone,

Quietly on the floor.

Someone else's acquaintances.

To them,

She replaces the girl before.

Will this one ever fit in?

Floating in and out

Of conversations.

Yet none are her own.

Wishing she could relate.

The brightness of what I don't have

Is that beacon so far out of reach.

No, it was never meant to be mine.

Pushed away by the frustration,

I'm running from my tears.

That beacon of solace is in my hands.

But it burns me.

I look back from where I've run.

It calls to me,

Saying I left my heart back there.

I've seen the greener grass,

But what's rightly mine burns brighter now.

These will scars remind me

How I almost gave up my heart.

I've shaken up my own world

Not knowing what home is anymore.

I thought I was ready,

I still think I am.

Trying to make something of myself

Where I know no one.

This breath I hold

Is my insecurity.

It's time to breathe it out

Trust that the stars will align, breathe in anew

And live this new life

That I've chosen to.

I long to be helpful.

To be important.

Someone worth sharing with.

To feel my worth.

I give the same to you.

And more.

Because you mean that much

To me.

Someday, I'll be loved

In the way that I love.

I was in a hotel room, TV on. The sound resonating within an oversized entertainment stand. I pulled the the flat screen towards the front so its sound wouldn't have the chance to bounce around the inside.

It slid easily. Too easily in one spot and I could see that someone had put something underneath it. With a tilt, I could extract this mysterious item.

A small notepad. Blank. It said "Write." On the front. The back of it told me to visit a website and download an app.

And I did.

We're given a body, a mind and the means to create our own life.

Life is not defined by anyone but ourselves.

There are many things we have no control over, yet we retain the way we choose to respond.

Life is the combination of every experience we have.

The choices we make.

The things that happen around us.

How we're affected by the things we hear, see, touch, smell and taste.

The feelings we have inside and how we choose to think about them.

The way we interpret and respond to the pressures of our immediate society.

The way we interpret and respond to the pressures of societies we observe.

How we choose to treat others and our response to how others treat us.

THAT'S life.

Nature is empathetic with me. It's cloudy serenity matches my mood. Calm, immersed in thought. What does the water think about? The trees?

Beautiful to the eye, yet more complex than we can imagine. I can't even fathom the number of natural interactions going on in front of me, let alone my entire field of vision.

Just like me, a sight to see, but you'll never know what goes on on the inside.