To This pain deep inside

Why won’t you go away

Just pass me a bottle

Pass me a needle

I don’t care what it is

Just make sure it’s lethal

This pain hurts me

I wish I was stronger

I can’t take it any longer

I just wanna give up

I just want it to be over

There is nothing to live for

So what’s the point of living ,On this earth

In my life

Cause Everyday is just one big joke

So I hope in the end you’re still laughing

Cause your the one to blame

For all this pain

I tried to fix it myself

But these pain meds aren’t helping

Pop 1 pop 2 pop 3

I don’t even care anymore

This pain needs to disappear

Because if it doesn’t then I will

To This pain deep inside

I knew you would never go away

Just pass me a bottle

Pass me a needle

I don’t care what it is

Just make sure it’s lethal

And In the end I hope you had your fun

Because of you I’m done

Days go by without me thinking

People walking through my life

In n out without a care in the world

I don't know why they're always leaving

It's hurts so bad I wish I was dreaming

I wish I could smile without crying

It hurts so bad I feel like I'm dying

I need an angel to come from above

And make me realize

Realize that life is worth living

Feeling nothing hurts

The pain is unbearable

This shit if fucking terrible

The one I care about

Cares nothing about me

I wish life would just work out perfectly

But nothing is ever that orderly

Days go by without me thinking

I know I need to stop drinking

But it is the only way to soothe the pain

The pain inside my head

I just hope I don't end up dead

Some people try reaching out

Sometimes it’s not soon enough

Suicide’s a real thing

I just don’t want it to be me

I feel like I need help

But no one is there to help me

I just sit alone and cry

Wishing I was another guy

Another person

Someone happy who never cried

Someone who could deal with the pain inside

The pain gets stronger

The feelings last longer

There may come a day

Where I can’t take it any longer

I pray that day to never come

I pray for a way to overcome

I pray for my life to take a turn

In the way that I won’t want it to be done

I can’t take this pain any longer

This is my apology for anyone who cared

For anyone who stepped forward and tried to help

For anyone who is deeply hurt

But the pain I feel can’t be helped

Just hold onto till the day comes

Where it’s too much

On that day I will be done

Thank you all for trying

Maybe next time you will stop lying

Acting like you care

Acting like you’re there

Maybe next time

Just maybe

It’s times like these that make me question

Question why I feel this way

Question why I chose this path

I don’t understand why the pain is so strong

The only thing I know is how to react to pain

In a negative way

To hurt

To cut

To feel pain that I feel on the inside show on the outside

To release the demons

The demons inside of me

I need a release that’s better for me

One that won’t ultimately kill me

One that will make me happy

One that will make me smile every single day

In times like these I need someone close

I need to feel loved

But it’s the opposite

I feel like shit

I feel worthless

And maybe I am worthless

But that doesn’t mean I’m not worth saving

In times like these I wanna disappear

I don’t wanna exist

I wanna be gone

So don’t miss me

And if you do I’m sorry

Real friends don’t act like this

They don’t let you struggle alone

Fake friends are only there when they want

But when you need them the most the vanish

The only friend needed in my life

Is a bottle and a pillow to cry on

I sick and tired of playing all these games

All the games in my head make me sick

The pain gets stronger

The feelings last longer

I don’t understand why this is happening to me

All I ever do it give and receive nothing

I would ask god why

But I already know the answer

I’m a terrible fucking person

All I do is hurt the ones I love

I wanted to say I’m sorry to all the ones I’ve hurt

But in the end the only one standing in the mirror is me

Looking back at myself

Just wondering when

When I’ll give up

When it will all end

When nobody gives a fuck anymore

When the bottle kills me

For anyone who actually cares I’m sorry I just can’t live this way anymore

Maybe next time you will actually fucking care

You ruined me so maybe the next person you try and help you actually do what you say you will do...

Some people try reaching out

Sometimes it’s not soon enough

Suicide is a real thing

I just don’t want it to be me

I feel like I need help

But no one is there to help me

I just sit alone and cry

Wishing I was another guy

Another person

Someone happy who never cried

Someone who could deal with the pain inside

The pain gets stronger

The feelings last longer

There may come a day

Where I can’t take it any longer

I pray that day to never come

I pray for a way to overcome

I pray for my life to take a turn

In the way that I won’t want it to be done

I can’t take this pain any longer

This is my apology for anyone who cared

For anyone who stepped forward and tried to help

For anyone who is deeply hurt

But the pain I feel can’t be helped

Just hold onto till the day comes

Where it’s too much

On that day I will be done

Thank you all for trying

Maybe next time you will stop lying

Acting like you care

Acting like you’re there

Maybe next time

Just maybe

Never give up on the ones you care most for

Even if they don’t ask for help offer

True friends will always appreciate the offer

Others will reject it

Make the ones you care about know you care

Never leave someone behind

Always offer a helping hand

You never know when your true friends will need help.

Time is just an illusion

Because if you do nothing with it

It’s worthless

But if you make the best of it

It’s worth every second

But what sucks is that the bad moments

Feel like they last forever

And the good moments are gone in a flash.

Seeing all these smiling faces at the wrong time

This shit really fucking up my timeline

Everywhere I look I see you smiling

I wish I was the one to make you that way

But I know all I did was take that away

So I will stay away

I know your happy

So why can’t I be happy

The pain lingers in my mind

And no one is there to help

Except for one

Who always stands by my side when I’m hurting

But I wish it was you but it’s uncertain

The times we had were great

But I guess not good enough

So I’m stepping out your life

Hope all is well and you stay happy.

Why is it that the one thing you always want you can’t have

It’s like the candy at the store you mom always said no too

Or like girl who is way out of your league but you try anyway

Life just loves to be a fucking tease

It is like it is just out of reach

Like your finger tips can touch it but you can’t have it

Life just sucks