I know why you smile

With skin in your teeth

Bones of a hundred beasts

Inside your slimy guts

The sun beats down

As you pant and wait

For another living being

To make a mistake

Death becomes you

You’re a living tomb

Even eating your young

If it should so suit

Pulling apart everything that moves

No time to taste and chew

Be careful not to choke

On those antlers, horns, or hooves

The only time I see you cry

Is when you miss a meal

I’m hungry but I can’t seem to eat. Gazing down the rows of packages decorating aisle after aisle in the store. Walking into a hornets nest and hoping they don’t notice me. The bustling drone of chatter and daily monotony.The people move their heads on a swivel, eyes bulging and burning holes in my skull but I never look up. They stop, sensing my approach, each movement synchronous with one another. They leer and spit on the glossy floor.

My stomach aches with every lingering look at a potential meal. Each shiny printed promise printed on every label ensures a bountiful feast with one small purchase. One stick of butter shall grant your wish to consume a full loaf of bread next to a warm bowl of soup in your enchanted country cottage. My tummy whines and paws at my muscle wall like a dog. But I’m too tired to eat. I can barely stand here. It took so much energy to convince myself to get here that all I can think about is falling asleep on the floor.

I crave a wholesome meal, but I really want to sit down. I lose time and money with each preparation and bite. One mouthful and there goes another fistful of dollars. A whole evening chucked out the window trying to chop and mince and dice. Then a sink full of dishes to wash and dry and put away. All to sit down and eat at ten o clock at night. A fridge stuffed with leftovers I won’t eat and more clutter from condiments to never use again. Then at the office you realize that you had no time to prepare anything for work because you wasted your night cooking. Everyone suddenly notices all your flaws and failures and it isn’t long before you’re fired and unemployed.

And so many produce items are being recalled lately. Filled with bugs, bacteria, and god knows what. Grab something from a diner and I’m throwing it up hours later and I’ve got to cross another food off my list. Eating out is expensive anyways.Then again those processed snacks are laced with possibly life shorting chemicals and additives. Maybe just a bagel won’t hurt. It says organic and whole wheat and I pretend this translates to safe.

Get sick, get broke, get fired. That’s what's on the menu tonight. But I want to eat. Instead of sheep I lie awake counting all the flavors of pie I could consume in one sitting. After sinking my teeth into a baked potato.

I eat my dinner in the cold car in the store parking lot. It’s so exhausting just chewing. My mom says she’s worried, but that’s nothing new. Once I get home I realize I didn’t get anything for breakfast, again. By now I’m worn out and it’s time for bed. I guess I’ll just dream of something sweet for dessert tonight.

The sun sets in the department store window

Resembling a bomb going off in slow motion

No doubt tripped by the millionth customer

Or some unknown cosmic fluke

Maybe nothing but a cruel joke

See if the Earthings will stop their bickering

Upon facing the threat of total demise

Ha ha.

Standing in line for a shirt and pair of pants

I can’t imagine anyone but a headless mannequin wearing

Because it’s difficult to conceptualize myself anymore

Buying clothes for an invisible man

To go and stand somewhere else

Perhaps even get paid for it

With money that fades so fast

I might as well eat it

Throw out my dishes

Stuff green bills down my throat

Someone in a high rise office building

Could very well make a killing

With edible coins and currencies

Houses made of bread and cheese

That get stale and useless in the rain

A hunger based economy

I pay again and again for things I don’t need

Sweating powerless in the shade

Of a looming meteor taking aim

I hope I look good for the apocalypse

Hopefully it comes in my sleep

I’m so tired

I just wanted to care for someone

That's all

Nowadays I can barely care

About a single thing

Burst from the hole of space

Strewn across star studded time

Thrown backwards at a great force

I tread water in a cosmic sea

Fumbling as an infant while

You stand on another shore

Waiting while I swim alone

Not daring to dip so much

As a single toe in the sand

I bathe in the reflection of a gaze

Once a stone’s throw away

Now I shiver in the oort cloud

Brightly you burn eons away

An impossible pursuit, this fruitless chase

Love cannot be understood

Revelation comes much too late

Lifetimes are spent wading

Lost through the dark eternity

Until starlight touches our skies

Curl up to sleep on a dinner plate

Awaken feet first in a behemoths belly

That shadow comes alive again

Taking the shapeless form

Of some towering monstrosity

A sore festering in a nightmares

Swollen cheek

Black mass of teeth that knows

Nothing but pain and meat

An ugly spider in the corner

For whom life is a waiting game

Trapped in an iron lung

Lies nothing but a severed head

That must be content to stare

Wide eyed at the ceiling

Till morning feels like coming home

To save the leftovers

For another nightly feast

Can’t remember exactly when

Everything turned gray

And the shadows began sticking

To my sallow face

I don’t know what sorrow succeeded

In finally disfiguring me

Crippling my body under the weight

Of heavy rain

The landscape is bleak as bone

My backyard nothing but dark sky

Ghosts no longer linger here

Insects turn to dust

I quietly waste away in fear

From the silence that stalks this place

Tormenting me like a beast

Calling me by name

A cold child under black blankets

I pray under a godless roof

For someone to appear from nowhere

Out of thin air

But there’s no point in talking

To an empty room

So why don’t I just leave

Take my chances with infinity

Much as I hate

Relying on cold calculators

They keep me company

And don’t ask for much

The not so silver screens

With their artificial lifeforms

Fill gaps in a vacant space

That would otherwise collapse on itself

White noises whispered at night

Mingle with voices in my head

Overcrowding in a thick skull

I can never bring myself to cut the cord

It would only leave me lonely

In a mute world that no longer sings

They switch on and I forget

That someday there is an end

Everything forever sliding downhill

They give me something to do

Too busy for anything now

All time is occupied

Shunning silence

Disregarding the quiet

Pretending not to hear

When I’m being called back

They execute time quick and easily

Exterminate echoes of emptiness

Spreading through my life

Like pests in a decaying house

Things I’d rather kill than face

So as much as I hate it

I lie

Down each night

Asleep with some machine

In my eyes it was a castle

Grandmother’s house by the sea

Looking to the left on the balcony

I thought we were standing

On the very edge of the world

Ships sailed off the horizon

And fell into space

Swimming in the ocean

Was heaven and paradise

Imagining the waves breaking

Rising and chasing only me

A heart that pumped just for one

And I felt like a cell when I swam

In its bloodstream

When you’re small

The world spins because of you

It grew larger each passing day, the first time she had noticed the spider it was no bigger than the size of a quarter crawling on her living room wall. Now its legs were breaking down the basement door and soon she feared she would end up like her husband and all the other men struggling for life, tied up and liquefied in its webs.

I keep up the pace

Straight as an arrow

Steady as a gun

But there’s no end in sight

No place to run

Nowhere to hide

Where's the yellow light

At the end of the tunnel?

In this long gray corridor

That lining of silver

Is yet to be found

Now time is shrinking

The walls are closing in

The fine line I walk is blurring

And to my horror I realize

That I can no longer turn around