A cacophony of shadows

and all I feel is fear

What once was my youth

that I held so dear

is hiding

riding

into a blinkered past,

I always knew it couldn’t last

Life’s seemed to skip by

in a murky blur

Where has it gone?

I cannot be sure

The years

the tears

have melted away

and now all that’s left

is the darkness at play.

I lie awake

desperate to sleep

uncontrollably shaking

breathing deep

Heart racing

a wandering mind

the night no comfort

no rest, it’s unkind

Uncontrollable weeping

is haunting me

no rhyme, no reason

I long to be free

Indecision hounds

my every move

unthinkable thoughts

I need to soothe

Pure exhaustion

now tires my eyes

depression is the bitch

that fucks with my mind

I dread the light dawning

in fear of the day

what will it be

why am I this way?

Sometimes I wonder

if not waking

would resolve

this dreaded path I’m taking

The morning arrives

and I’ve had little sleep

my inner strength

so bruised and weeps

Yet somehow I find

the will to carry on

to endure another day

and in some way stay strong.