I've had more than enough lemons in my lifetime. They are hard and sour. I would much rather have something nice and sweet. Why does life always have to throw lemons why can't it throw Cotton candy and rainbows. No thanks. When life gives you lemons throw them back and say screw you.

Addiction comes in many forms

Some more dangerous than others

Mine is very unhealthy

I'm addicted to cutting

The sharp sting of knife against flesh

The mark it leaves behind

I try so hard to stop it

I know it won't end well

But the need out ways the danger

My addiction calls to me

It won't let me be

What started as just one cut

Became another and another

Over and over again 

Until there were too many to count

They are getting harder to hide

Maybe that's a good thing

I could really use a friend

I'm tired of all the pain

Of feeling weak

I know this can't go on longer

I know I can't do it on my own

So today I will stand and say

I need help.

Dear Brother,                                                                                   March 10, 2004

        Why did you do it? Mommy and Daddy have done nothing but love you. They don't deserve this. You called mommy such horrible names and you accused her of awful things. Mom is the kindest, most caring woman in the world. She didn't deserve being attacked and hit with a chair. Daddy tried to stop you but you didn't listen. Instead you pulled a knife on him. He has always stood up for you and protected you. How could you do this to them, to us? Family is supposed to be about love, not hurting each other. The worst part is that you don't even care about what you did. You did all of this just because they told you no. You have always hated to hear that word but I never thought it would come to this. I don't know what to do anymore. Mommy is always crying and Daddy is drinking too much. You broke this family and I don't know how to forgive you. Brother, you used to be my hero. You were always there for me when I needed you. You protected me just like a big brother should. We were best friends since the day I was born. You changed, and not for the better. You have turned into someone that I don't even recognize. I am writing to tell you that you have destroyed us and any chance of a further relationsip. I never want to hear from you again. I will never forgive you for breaking apart our family.

Goodbye for good,

Your baby sister

Dreaded summer heat

So hot and oppressing

Swarms of bees and mosquitoes

Stings and bites galore

With air conditioning and lemonade

I prefer to stay indoors

Waiting for the Fall