some people might not get it

how you are the caterpillar

before it becomes a butterfly

how you are a sweet song

that makes people cry

you are artwork that doesn’t need to be modernized

you are red flushed cheeks when people drink

you are the rough draft before it gets revised

you are my life raft before I sink

as opposite as we may be

you bring peace to me

you are what turns my intense to tense

you and me, we just make sense

how lucky am I

to have found you

in a world so dark

full of uncertainty

but with you in it there is a spark

you bring a sense of normalcy

to the madness that is called my life

and you still end up loving me whole heartedly

oh how I can’t wait to be your wife

I love you endlessly

xoxo

when I look at you

I don’t see the mistakes you’ve made

all of the bad memories fade

I see through the drunk texts and calls

I see through the tears you try so hard not to let fall

I see you

and all of the things you are so used to

I see regret

and loneliness

but when we met

I’ve never seen you as a mess

when I look at you

I see someone so incredibly intelligent

who holds a lot of sentiment

who can write the most beautiful pieces of poetry I’ve ever read

who sometimes goes crazy in her own head

and who sometimes just needs a friend

when I look at you

I see someone who is misunderstood

someone who is critiqued for her moods

I see someone who has given so much of herself to others

when not all of them have been good friends or lovers

but you kept giving anyway

when I look at you

my heart splits in two

I would like to give you one half of it

If that means you will feel complete

If that means your heart will start beating again

If that means you will finally feel free

of all the pain and sorrow you have been imprisoned by

oh my

how when I look at you

I see tears that have dried

and honesty instead of lies

I see someone I can come to

regardless of what it may be

you feel like home to me

the difference in it all is that

even on your darkest of days

I still painted you bright yellow in my mind

you mistook black crayons for light blue

smeared the black over the bolded guided lines

while I sat there and tried to erase

I kept erasing

or at least tried to

but I couldn’t keep up

as your black lines started to become

bigger… thicker …. wider

eventually it consumed the whole page

my light blue crayon broke in half

each piece of it laying on different ends of the paper

trying to still balance what’s left

a fully blacked out page laid in front of us

we stared at it

we stared at it for so long trying to justify what just happened

or at least I did

because underneath all of the black

there was light blue

waiting to shine through to you

but it never made its way from underneath

leaving it to be unrecognizable

unidentifiable

unknown

and eventually to the naked eye

it quickly vanished

no matter how hard it tried

I taped my crayon together

and began drawing again

and again

and again

trying to brighten up the page

but there was only so much I could do

with what little room you gave

Am I attractive to you?

Or do you just like my sense of humor?

Is it my never-ending questions and curious mind?

Or how my legs look under the sun?

Whatever it may be

It's a trap.

A beautifully constructed and strategically made trap.

My large eyes tell you pretty white lies.

And my words touch you warmly inside.

Just like a shot of liquor.

A burning sensation at first that is quickly followed by waves of warmth

that spreads throughout your chest.

It's bittersweet.

Because you know it's bad for you but it makes you feel alive and less alone.

So you continue to drink it and wonder how.

How did one shot turn into four and then you find yourself waking up on the floor?

I guess that is why they say

Drink Responsibly.

What is it about that bourbon?

Is it that it tastes divine?

Does it allow you to let out a great sigh?

Or is it because it runs down your throat smooth?

Does it make you feel like you have nothing to lose?

I wonder what it is about it

That makes the hangovers so bearable

Even when the consequences it brings are usually terrible

I wonder what it is

That leaves you lusting for more

That makes you do such a great pour.

There is something much deeper than its taste

It is everything else about you that you try to erase

Everything about you can be revealed by just one drink

There is so much more depth to you than what most think.

Whether you see your glass as always half empty or half full

You're always dreamful

And a handful

All at once

And it is beautiful.

Just like a glass of bourbon

Rich and sweet, but also realistic and raw

Everything all at once

You leave me in awe.