I saw you out of the corner of my eye,

walking down the street on Main.

My first reaction was to shout your name,

then I remembered and I refrained.

I couldn't even move a muscle,

you walked out of sight and were gone.

My heart broke deep and silently,

but with peace I can now move on.

In the blink of an eye it was over,

after preparing for hours on end!

My love not only walked away,

he was also my very best friend!

I can't describe this feeling,

Its a saddness from head to toe,

I struggled to not run after him,

but I knew it was time to let go.....

DarlaS

CPTSDnME

Yes or No..Black or White? Im judged as i'm praying for stregnth to stand up and

fight!

Darkness & Light..Right and Wrong? Im gasping for air, as I'm singing

my song.

Good and Bad.. Happy and Sad, Im a hippie, Im a lover, Im a free spirited

nomad.....

DarlaS

CPTSDnME

I continue..

Repeatedly I continue,

to allow you to see,

I'll accept the abuse,

you push on me.

How many times,

do I give it a try?

Accepting your words,

as you falsify!

I've lingered around,

I've begged for your time!

Which leads me here,

Crying pain into rhyme!

When will I learn?

Its over and done

And with walking away,

it's me that has won!!

ComplexPTSDnME

DarlaS

Im drownding in my sadness,

I am stuck and I can not see.

I'm imprisoned by a mountain of shame

and im trying to break free.

Im feeling so weak and weary

overwhelmed and full of fear.

Im praying to God for clarity

and the strength to persevere.

Each step I take is draining

As im facing all my truth

Acknowledging all the sickness

From my childhood and youth

Working through the heartbreak

And not running from the pain

In the end I will be stronger

And it will not be in vein!

DarlaS

CPTSDnME

Why can’t I seem to let you go when I know deep inside, the truth

Its not love, but a bond formed, after losing our child in youth.

Since that time Ive held on to hope,  

That one day you’d again be mine,

I’m no longer able to fool myself,

That our paths love will align.

My heart is breaking slowly, as I turn to walk away

A part of me prays you’ll stop me, and ask me once more to stay.

How could I expect a reaction as  as such, when for years I’ve been last on your list,

Time after time, I tried blocking you out, and again I lack, strength to resist.

Today when I left it was different,

I hadn’t forced each step to the

door,

Each step that I took, weight was lifted,

A lightness I’d not felt before

Then stregnth fueled my body to walk away, leaving behind all the sadness & pain

I’ll put one foot in front of the other as I break free from your shackle n chain

DarlaS #cptsdnme #ptsd #stopthestigma #trauma #warrior

Many days have come and gone, that I wasted asking why,

I obsessively seeked for answers, never getting a reply.

The weight of my pain was crippling, and would bring me to my knees,

The shame I carried all these years, left me riddled with disease.

I thought that I was evil, and Id surly go to hell..

But the evil was not inside of me, but in the truth I had to tell!

My mom, she couldn't stand me and her hate would take my breathe,

I just wanted her to love me, but instead I prayed for death.

FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT

Silence to me is so deafening, darkness at times is so bright...

The nightmares appear, I'm stagnant in fear, as I brace myself to fight!!

My tears start to flow and my vision is blurred, but the flashback is OH SO clear!!

I take a deep breath, prepare for the pain and not run as it draws near!

It's time to embrace the little girl who's been burried beneath secrets & shame,

We will take each step walking hand in hand as our life we now RECLAIM!!!!!

;

;

#METOO

DarlaS

Silence to me is so deafening, darkness at times is so bright...

The nightmares appear, I’m stagnant in fear, as I brace myself to fight!!

My tears start to flow and my vision is blurred, but the flashback is OH SO clear!!

I take a deep breath, prepare for the pain and not run as it draws near!

It’s time to embrace the little girl hidden that was burried beneath secrets & shame,

We will take each step walking hand in hand.. as our life we now RECLAIM!!!!!

;

;

#METOO

#cptsd

My little is a part of me, but has been gone for many years,

I locked her up, hid the key, alone with all our fears!

My little holds all the memories, the pain & hell we lived through!!

The sadness, shame and loneliness, I left that with her too!!

My little is a part of me, and she desperately wants to be free,

I'm starting this journey on faith alone, but I'll make it, as I hold the key!

My little

Darla Stacey

#cptsd #ptsd #warrior #survivor #semicolanproject

I open up just a little bit..and soon after I'm regretting it!

As a child I so innocently believed in love..even when I didn't know what it felt like. I just believed that it was what would heal the empty hole in my soul. It's no longer empty..but filled with fear. 

I feel like I'm suffocating from the fear..where there once was hope...