weighs down on my soul

sometimes i wish they'd notice and sometimes i wish they'd control

Their intuition tells them i can see it in their eyes

all the same they remain blind

so vaporize my lungs or take me to a Fractal kingdom

either way i'll remain numb and them dumb

You’ve been staring at your blank page for 30 minutes

You’ve watched the indicator for where your words will type blink at least 1000 times

The ambient noise in your room has become just a ringing in your ears, your mind drifting aimlessly into the void, every thought being taken and sold only to buy more with the earnings, never a still frame of mind. The overwhelming guilt and pressure built up assignments tossed onto your already full platter by a system that doesn’t appreciate creativity or uniqueness only the same monotone Grade A, honor roll student that has been through the redundantly crushing institution time and time again never getting any different getting rewarded for the same mundane actions. Each day dragging along the same way, the same time, the same schedule

“Yay we get the week off!” you say in exuberant relief, knowing in the back of your mind the small break won’t create any sort of peace in your head, the weeks work, the school’s requirements bouncing around in your mind as if the break wasn’t present, still hard at work in your awkward daze. Devoid of given orders you know not what to do or when to do it, who to ask to go where. This is what they want. THIS is not what humans are meant to be. We were given a soul, an ego comprising every beautiful thing about humanity but it’s thrown to waste, the aristocrats need workers, pawns and cogs in their machines so everything functions properly. Capitalism is the best form of government. The homeless and struggling families are part of the perfect system; the machine can’t work without the lowly and weak. The world has become a boring dystopia and even the rich handed everything they could ever want lack any true purpose, all of it deprived of them because challenge is what makes living interesting. Everything that makes them human has been wrung out of them like a wet towel, there is nothing left that attaches them to us. Compassion fades away as the money flows in. It all starts with school, the becoming of a great corporate workplace incident, it starts in the perfect education system of america.

You’ve twisted and mutilated a beautiful thing such as learning, everything good about being human has been yanked from us at youth and people refuse to let go of the concept that we can’t a better education system even if we hate the one in place now.

You’ve been staring at your blank page for 30 minutes

You’ve wanted the indicator for where your words will type blink at least 1000 times

The ambient noise in your room has become just a ringing in your ears, your mind drifting aimlessly into the void, every thought being taken and sold only to buy more with the earnings, never a still frame of mind. The overwhelming guilt and pressure built up assignments tossed onto your already full platter by a system that doesn’t appreciate creativity or uniqueness only the same monotone Grade A, honor roll student that has been through the redundantly crushing institution time and time again never getting any different getting rewarded for the same mundane actions. Each day dragging along the same way, the same time, the same schedule

“Yay we get the week off!” you say in exuberant relief, knowing in the back of your mind the small break won’t create any sort of peace in your head, the weeks work, the school’s requirements bouncing around in your mind as if the break wasn’t present, still hard at work in your awkward daze. Devoid of given orders you know not what to do or when to do it, who to ask to go where. This is what they want. THIS is not what humans are meant to be. We were given a soul, an ego comprising every beautiful thing about humanity but it’s thrown to waste, the aristocrats need workers, pawns and cogs in their machines so everything functions properly. Capitalism is the best form of government. The homeless and struggling families are part of the perfect system; the machine can’t work without the lowly and weak. The world has become a boring dystopia and even the rich handed everything they could ever want lack any true purpose, all of it deprived of them because challenge is what makes living interesting. Everything that makes them human has been wrung out of them like a wet towel, there is nothing left that attaches them to us. Compassion fades away as the money flows in. It all starts with school, the becoming of a great corporate workplace incident, it starts in the perfect education system of america.

You’ve twisted and mutilated a beautiful thing such as learning, everything good about being human has been yanked from us at youth and people refuse to let go of the concept that we can’t a better education system even if we hate the one in place now.

I've been born from a blaze and to ash i shall return

but do not recall that which I was before

I do not know if i am a Holy Light or Hellish Inferno

I do not know if i am young or if i am old

They gaze upon my beauty, yet do not know the pain of my discoveries

I was here before you saw me burn

and i will be here after you've been consumed in a blaze

that which I ignite, or that which the Phoenix i was before did

Every morning is a risk, the sun scorning my tardiness to her day, so she beats down when i work under her gaze. The pit in my stomach tells me every step is a chance for things to go awry. Instead I let my brain be empty and fill my stomach with life. I argue with the future, when i risk my gifts, her old friend bickers too. I'm glad I woke up, I'm saddened it was not sooner i chose to run towards the unknown, but then i did have something to lose, is it a risk if i've nothing other to choose.

When all you've done is contemplate what you are you, lose the essence of being. After focusing so long on deciding who you want to be, you've sat so long in indecision that you've become just that. People fear what they might become if they lose their own influence, but our sense of self is just a collection of experiences in the first place, you've had no influence, you've had a perspective. It's what we make of this perspective what we can, and we can't deny the negative but we can't let it be our prespective.