When all you've done is contemplate what you are you, lose the essence of being. After focusing so long on deciding who you want to be, you've sat so long in indecision that you've become just that. People fear what they might become if they lose their own influence, but our sense of self is just a collection of experiences in the first place, you've had no influence, you've had a perspective. It's what we make of this perspective what we can, and we can't deny the negative but we can't let it be our prespective.