China Doll in the Junkyard

I was GIVEN the name "Jessie"

So they put me in skirts

to take the space of a pretty RHYME

in honor of all of the mothers and godmothers who survived

THEY choked me with bluebells and rubber Polly Pocket

with LINES of sheet music at my recitals

this is how my parents invited SAFETY

to our FINE Christian suburb

good immigrant

I would MULTIPLY a RIVER of proper melodies for them

and sing pink dreams that were not mine

because I never knew Hera Syndulla was a PILOT

instead I learned that Mulan could save China

by pretending to be a boy

I WRITE to my memory of Für Elise

and curtsy on the tape for polite applause

standing an INCH from girlhood

or was it SILENT performativity?

I thought to DIVIDE myself:

GRADE A ballerina Cinderella

"Tomboy"

he dared to WHISPER

so I made his eyes roll against the BRICK

and REPLY, "I am" with wrought-IRON HEIGHT

braver than

BIGGER and

bolder than