benediction for ben’s addiction

filling prescriptions

instead of holes in souls 

where hope is missin'

the directions are marred by scarred-heart inscriptions

But there aren't nearly enough pills in this kitchen

to facilitate a mental state

in which a bright future is blissfully envisioned 

that's what every demon's in my itching ears screamin'

nightmarish, but even in day dreams,

I see them.

and when they whisper

I hate the way I lean in.

Moreover,

I hate that I believe them.

Ben, listen

this is normal, not addiction

you claim to be bought with a price,

while your life is wrought with affliction

trust us,

this ride is worth the price of admission 

besides,

she's just a glorified stripper on your Mac screen gleamin'

you're a man

these are women and it's natural you need them

to perform 

don't call it porn,

it's a good time your weary mind can finally find relief in

makeup running,

tears streamin'

staring into empty eyes whose will to live is weakened 

in these twisted scenes 

and there's no unseeing 

beating hearts being ripped from human beings

for my pleasure, ever fleeting 

these girls amass diamonds when they ought 

to be taught to gather rocks 

to shatter glass ceilings 

Wait,

what was i thinking?

feeling convicted that i liked that?

like i could get my life back

despite the fact that i despise that?

here demon,

take my eyes back

it's been a long day and I could use a night cap 

And sun replaces moon

while locked away in darkened room

the only light in which illuminates cyber sirens,

all to whom

the wicked heart disarms alarms and predictably,

so swoons 

Now in defeat,

close tabs,

close eyes

to sleep

and wait for dark 

for day to start 

to watch.

to wash.

to rinse,

repeat.

Yet all the time,

the Master key,

in hand I find,

the lock in clearest view.

escape is mine,

if so I choose.

the old, 

can be old news.