You know what is annoying is those who believe that they are able to be in a committed relationship but once they actually find someone they run away they hate who therewith they decide that being with that person is a chore or an obligation because they feel bad. Being the person that has to listen to all there problems is a pain in the ass. I don't care enough to listen to all the things they do wrong. people try to find all the wrong things and can't enjoy all the good things they have with that person and once there relationsho[ is over I have to still hear about it after 1 year that they believe they should have never ended it or the other person doesn't like them back they can't move on.

Self sobotage is a strong word and it is something that is hard to recover from. Pain is a factor. Pain is something that does not go away, knowing that feeling hurts in everyway in every form that is possible. From the crying to the yelling, to the self doubts and the wall that blocks you from happiness nothing can help. People try to tell you thingd like it is going to be okay or you are strong enough to the get through it but what do the know. Do they think that they know my life, my story or is it the face that I put on in front of them. No one knows what I think, no one can help, I can lie, I can run away but that thing that follows me everywhere will never go away. As I live my life with this pain thiking that I can fool myself. Knowing that I had let someone down in my life, I can't bare to tell someone my burdens because i know they won't actually care. I could drink or smoke as mush as I want but the short bliss of happiness can last for so long until the reality comes and punches me in the face. This pain is forever but I decided that I will be strong until someday, maybe someday this pain will go away.