Roses are red like your anger,

as you violetly beat me black and blue

you beat me senseless and numb

you beat me hysterical and writhing

you beat me scared and frightened

you beat me pissed and helpless

you beat me melancholic and listless

ignoring my cries and pleas

only occasionally did you stop

once you had elicited from me a cry you felt

boasted enough

constancy,

steadfastness

then you would purposefully turn back to your video games, as if excelling at them required background noise that was my pain,

When I began to tire, my sobs slowing in frequency and pace,

you would look over

expressionless and

just observe

as soon as you detected a near escape on my part,

the moment you suspected I was slipping into sweet, sleepy realm of dreams,

you would pounce,

beating me back into consciousness

and I would gasp

a ghoulish gasp

sucking in air as I regained life

caught off guard,

choking, sputtering, and coughing on my own spit

please let me sleep

it was as if I were drowning and, just as I disappeared beneath the tumultuous surf into a calming embrace that promised rest for my overburdened soul,

you dragged me,

scared and gurgling,

back to the surface

spluttering, choking, and coughing again,

you loved keeping me suspended in midair, just between merciful sleep and insufferable existence,

a bug encased in amber, it’s heart beat persevering,

tears run down

well-tread, cheeky paths,

glistening wakes,

like softly glowing shooting star residuum,

you cannot cry underwater

only actively contribute,

gifting body to the ocean,

but here

in the middle,

there is no receptacle for tears

only an empty drum,

that patters as they fall,

humming a morbid tune

hanging, hanging here,

paying off the world’s debts to you

hanging, hanging, hanging,

by the noose of your abuse.

My love for you is Christmas lights in May.

Pathetic, lingering, embarrassing, no longer eliciting any of the joy it had during a time when it was deemed appropriate, and seemingly able to speak for the state of mental health of those unwilling to take it the fuck down.

I continue to indulge myself in the expired, curdled, moldy, over ripened mess that is my love for you, for the same reason some people refuse to take down their Christmas lights in a timely manner: If I have loved you already longer than I should, what is a bit longer until it is that time of year when you will embrace my love again? 

If you want me to give up on us, stop your inconsistent, annual yearning for me. 

Abolish Christmas like the greedy, tiny-hearted, Grinch you are..

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

A silly incantation expressing his love for you,

I can do better,

Let me try,

Whilst the roses wither and the violets die,

My love for you has boundaries,

Would not persevere through tragedy,

Dames more fair still catch my eye,

I don rouge button up and lipstick tie,

My romantic gesture repertoire includes,

A peace sign through which my tongue protrudes,

You to others I would not defend,

If your weight demonstrated an upward trend,

I will not love you 'til you're old and gray,

Or cherish you 'til my dying day,

You will not mother my spawn lest it be a mistake,

My likeness will never accompany yours atop a layered cake,

You'll never hear me say I prefer your face,

When of makeup there isn't a trace,

My ears do not wish to overfill and teem,

With all of your future hopes and dreams,

I would not spare your life with mine,

Or invest in you all of my time,

Would not care for you when sick or ill,

And on a date we'd split the bill,

You cannot reroute my mind from this impasse

Besides, you seem attracted to type jack ass,

My main objective is most definitely not romance,

But if, "I love you," gets me in your pants...

Oh c'mon baby, enough with the attitude,

So quick to criticize and call me rude,

Already he has lied while I've told NOTHING but the truth,

Gullible girl, violets are not fucking blue.

How dare you tread upon my new found happiness by offering me the only thing I ever wanted years ago,

My beat was fast, your heart too slow,

To catch up to the way I was feeling,

I've finally moved on and now you're set on stealing,

Any joy that doesn't originate from you,

Selfish boy, is this a ruse?

How dare you give me the opportunity to choose,

I'll never understand your fascination with triangles, your rejection of twos,

But I remember what it felt like, what it felt like to lose,

When I couldn't outshine her, your winning muse,

And now you expect me to do what you couldn't for me,

Walk away from what's promising towards something risky,

I would have put it all on the line for you then,

If only to call you more than a friend,

Would have dove straight into waters unexplored,

Taken that jump, had faith that we'd soar,

Would have left common sense in the dust,

To see what it feels like to give someone your trust,

We could have tread paths through murky forests green,

Traversed the world on a boat cross the seas,

Flown around the globe to places unseen,

If only you were now what you had been,

But time passes at the beckoning of none,

No matter your wishes against it, the day will still come,

The years revolve as we do round the sun,

I'm wiser now and of love I'm skeptical,

No longer the naive girl so susceptible,

To falling head first in an embrace oh too sweet,

Much less prone to being swept off my feet,

So if you're asking me to take a chance on you now,

I'm afraid I no longer know how,

I've forgotten the steps to the dance we once knew,

Forgotten the words to our duet too,

I cannot for the life of me remember how to love you...

Picture credit: "Persian Cat Room Guardian" -Anyaboz DeviantArt.

While we both still breathe I will never stop fighting for more but, whatever time I'm given, up until the day our hearts stop beating, will be enough.

I'd spend eternity waiting to hold you for but a moment and if love persists even after we die, I will love you into the afterlife.