I put us in the ground before we ever had a chance

Buried you in my backyard

with all the other things that scare me

Nothing blooms where it's planted

But I can see your hands reaching up from the soil

Tree like branches trying to meet the sun desperately

Shut the door, close the blinds, go with what you know.

I never thought seeing myself so clearly

in someone else’s eyes would make me run so fast.

I was never really afraid of you

Just the girl staring back at me I saw in your eyes.

This place is built from you

Coast lines and blue ocean waters

The curve of your arm around my waist

Bending like Mulholland

You feel as easy as the California breeze through my fingertips

As I dream of a time in the future

When I'm homesick for this moment

You and I

The sunshine

Seeing what you're thinking through every expression on your face

You squeeze my thigh in hopes of a secret

Teasing every inch of me with your touch

You and I are bending like Mulholland

Endlessly and effortlessly

We twist and then turn again

Until there is just your smile,

the sunshine halo around your head

My fingers in your hair & coast lines with blue ocean waters.

when i never knew what it was like to feel you,

i never ached for you.

not like i do now.

then - i could miss you -

i could long to close the distance between us,

but i never knew what it was to have you.

i never knew it would feel like embers on my skin

as your hands moved over every soft curve

or how your breath would move

across the swell of my chest.

every single time you pushed into -

my heart, my body

i suddenly understood what it would be like

for you to live here inside of me.

but the aching abyss of your absence

is the only thing reminding me i didn’t dream up the whole damn thing.

there is a hole in the shape of you

lying next to me in bed every night.

and some days the gap seems endless.

miles on miles on miles.

i want to build bridges out of my words

because maybe they will touch you

before the next time my hands will

i am never where you are,

but you are always with me.

and sometimes when i look at the moon,

i can feel the pull of you.

your love is the only tide

i’ve ever moved with.