I never said it out loud,

my deep dark thoughts are too deep dark and down.

I know they’d never let me out

If I spoke them out

I just wanna die,

always contemplating suicide.

I think it would be best.

Much better than the rest

If I could take a pill, then get buried alive-

so then I’d finally die.

Maybe they would cry

But it’s too late- goodbye.

I don’t survive this time

I feel like a mime.

I feel hurt, I feel shattered

contemplating: does it even matter?

you were here and now you’re gone,

if life was a video game- respawn

yet life is not that way

for if it were, maybe I’d pray

with excitement and plenty of joy,

but silent I stay because it’s all a hoy

a distraction from the truth

and it’s eating me away, mostly my youth