the last shot goes down, a slick burn at the back of my ragged throat and

heavy lidded eyes meet mine across the table

words are not enough.

we clash in the middle

a cacophony of bliss, hands fumbling at torn edges, lapping at the edges of a big bright something more.

where do you end and I begin, it doesn't really seem to matter as

slurred words are pressed to determined mouths and you feel like both a curse and a blessing of the strongest kind

you already feel like home, your every nuance being recorded in my mind, I want to know every corner of the twisting, overlapping system that makes you

when we finally break apart, almost completely dazed in our wonder at the sheer relief of coming together, I realize I need you in every way

Ah there it is.

Your old friend has clawed its way out of the tombstone of your soul

You almost forgot you could feel before this

It claws its way out of your stomach and creeps up your spine

jealousy

anger

rage

Emotions flicker through your head like an old tape played one too many times

You feel it settle in your heart, this never ending agony, claws sinking in deep as if setting a claim

Oh then theres the despair

Now thats a mistress you are also much too well acquainted with

She comes in waves, from a dripping rain to a hurricane

It feels like saltwater on your cuts, an indescribable burn on wounds already far too deep, and oh god it aches

But then, as all things, do she fades away until its almost as if she was never there

So does the presence in your chest, it slowly retreats back into the deepest reaches of your soul, locking itself away until next time

but there will always be scars as a remembrance, a constant reminder, and most importantly a warning

My love was deep but yet you let it dry

Why were your words as sharp as a knife

when mine were but a sting

Some days you would touch me, while others went by with not a word

And I'm still not sure which I liked more

The finger marks you left on my arms have fade

but you have yet to do so from my mind

The red rose withers wildly under unkept heavy hands

Petals pirouette to the flat floor, losing life

A wolf whimpers quite quietly at the mindful moon and he howls hauntingly hollow

The thunder cracks constantly after lightning lights the never-ending night

Fire flickers steadily, slowly in a humble home

Gentle, giving hands prettily pick the next new red rose

Its going through your day with shadows pulling at your sleeves and hair

Its a looming presence in your mind anytime a little bit of happiness slips in

When you're alone its overwhelmingly consuming, the tiny lapping waves becoming a raging tsunami violently pulling you under

Splash, why does anything matter again?

Splash, no one really cares anyway

Splash, maybe its time to give up

And when you decide to fight back against it, and drag yourself to shore, it only continues in a vicious cycle dragging you under again and again

shadows slumber as the sun goes down

the twisted wind makes a wicked sound

blazing eyes jerk open in the dark

as a howl signifies another taken down mark

black spindly fingers creep up spines

while the air is thick with the taste of dark red wine

another scream is met with silence

after all it is just another nocturnal violence