Dandelion Queen

My heart beats quickly,

pushing the oxytocin through the pathways of my veins,

intoxicating each cell with a deadly poison.

Chemicals pollute my brain as it tries to weed through the nonsense,

losing reason as it is eaten by hormones,

dripping out of my eyes as dying logic will do.

Having no other way to escape the emotions

tear filled thoughts seep their way down my freckled cheeks,

for they know their imminent death is near,

as the heart reconquers her fortress,

taking back what little is hers.

This time reinforced with false hopes of future fantasies

of a simple yet beautiful life.

She continues on her mission

to destroy all that is in her path,

so as to prove her strength and idiocy.

Her teeth sinking passion evades all other feelings,

and she shall take no prisoners.

The brain is on its own,

as there are no great allies to be made in this bitter battle.

It stands frozen in amazement

at how such a small thing can change everything,

at how something so harmonious and wonderful can be destroyed with one look,

one hug,

one touch of the hand,

one moment

an innocent comment transformed into the worst of interpretations,

allowing the mind to wander off,

led astray by the heart into a field of confused dandelions,

who know not which way to roam,

Even though the sun is shining behind them,

they twist and turn,

bound only by the soft soil on which they sit,

and being drained of their reason,

they reach out for the sparkle of the moonlight,

they turn away from life,

choosing the death of the passionate heart queen.

Written: Madrid, February 2013. Revisited: Today, April 2018.

#poetry #love #irrational #overtaken #dandelionqueen #poetryrevisited

Before the firing squad, she turned to face her assassins. 

She wanted her image to be burned forever in their minds and her death to haunt them in their dreams. 

She'd have the last laugh.

...

She never knew that her act inspired the rebellion that ended the dictatorship. 

She flew graciously through the warm and gentle summer breeze flying past the girl’s face, interrupting her worries. After getting her attention, the girl looked up from her notebook and whispered into the wind.

She watched her grandmother glide through the flowers, turning to look at the rest of the park. It was one of the first warm days in Madrid this year. There were friends, lovers, and families out that day to celebrate the end of a long winter. The girl was alone, so it was nice to have a visitor.

She landed right on her notebook; spread her beautiful wings, nearly symmetrical with an orange strip and a few white spots on each side, waiting calmly. The butterfly appeared to be looking up at the girl and rested for what seemed to be an eternity and only a moment at the same time. The two small blue eyes on the back inside of her wings seemed to be smiling at her. She dared not move to scare the butterfly away, because she looked soft, warm, and happy sitting there. She dared not speak as to spoil the moment. The girl smiled quietly to herself as a bird scared the butterfly away and watched as she landed nearby until the threat passed. Gradually she made her way back to the top of the girls left shoe.

The girl wondered if the butterfly was aware that she was her grandmother, or if, as most reincarnated creatures, she didn’t remember her previous life, but merely sensed a strong inexplicable connection to this particular being on this particular day. But it didn’t matter; the girl knew who she was. Grandma was always popping in right when she faced difficult situations in her life, or sometimes just to remind her she was headed in the right direction.

Her grandmother opened her wings as if she was basking in the warmth of the sun and then closed them to keep from blowing away. It must have been a lot of hard work to stay in one position as the wind could literally blow her away with one gentle gust, but maybe even more work to find her granddaughter in a sea of souls. Finally she got up and flew around, giving her only spectator time to switch positions. She began dancing in the wind, gliding through the breeze and though the girl was in her mid 20s, she too felt like a child again, playing with her grandmother. She enjoyed watching her swooping and looping across the pale blue sky. She landed on the right shoe this time, and sat there for a long time. She felt calm and happy just sitting there and the girl felt at ease, all of her worries vanishing in this moment. It was always good to see her grandmother healthy and smiling again.

She took a mental picture of the butterfly, and the wonderful yet brief visit from her grandma became a permanent record in her life video bank as the butterfly gracefully floated away.

Aren’t we all just a package of endless emotions?

Angry

The anger peaks and I fall down,

forever saying sorry

for rash mistakes

and brutal comments.

I never say the right thing

for others to understand me.

Fear

I stop and can’t breathe

All the memories surround me.

Suffocating.

Success

The education system is a funny thing

rewarding people for being hermits

and rope strings you can tie

into whatever shape you want.

Maybe someday I’ll understand the meaning

of all this.

Crazy

Self-doubt lingers

and I am paranoid,

Why would anyone like me?

Strong

Inevitable mortality waits

for those who think we are strong

But I keep running, swimming, dancing,

playing, learning, striving

and we all go on.

Tough

Is a way to say strong

but instead of coming from practice,

it comes from bad experience.

Weak

Tired, painful nights

keep me awake

while you lay sleeping

And I need you.

Blunt

Again, with the anger

I care too much

Say too much

Cry too much

If you don’t want to know the truth

Don’t ask

Forgettable

My memory is too powerful

for I remember your faces

after only once meeting

And yet when I greet you

there is nothing

but a vacant

false look ahead

as if

you have somewhere else to be

Mistakable

Do I know you?

I know your name is Lindsey,

tell me your name is Lindsey.

Weird

Anomaly, freak, stranger

Tic-toc

Walk

Keep moving,

she might see us.

Love

Fleeting, exciting, strange

never in the form

expected

Funny

You told me I wasn’t

but who’s laughing now?

Grief

One too many funerals

as a child

I went,

and only once,

did I touch

the cold hand

of death.

But I had to,

I just had to

feel your hand

in mine, again.

It was no longer yours

cold, stiff, and rigid

not soft, warm, and inviting

like I remembered.

Wonder

Never taking for granted

the fleeting moments

we have here

on Earth.

Life is learned

through loss.

Curiosity is born

when you see

the clock

running

out.

I lost you in the darkness

I saw you slip through my fingers

and I knew that I’d never see you again.

You were a strong and beautiful woman,

careless and at ease.

Every night, we’d talk about the future

excitement in our eyes.

But one day, I didn’t smile back at you

I was trapped in a disease.

Life was drained out of me

by two heavy hands.

The darkness entered

as the light drained out.

My breath weakened

and fear crept in.

I grew frail and tired,

scared and weak.

I couldn’t shake the sickness

he followed me everywhere.

Sleepless nights and hot showers

did not rid me of him.

You tried to reach out to me,

but I shut you out.

I cried in silence,

hoping you’d keep trying.

But all that was left,

was a shell of who we used to be.

You are my past,

I am your future.

But who am I now, if not you?

And who are you, if not me?

If only I could reach back

and bring you here.

Erase the scars of time

and start over again.

He took me from you,

and I lost myself.

When I look in the mirror,

I am someone else.