she was beautiful, but alas, ephemral in that same sense. nothing about her would ever inform you to stay away, if anything her burning core made her attract those of any kind. she was ethereal in some sense, wise beyond her years, witty, sharp, pointed, desirable. 

and i, as young as i was, fell as hard as i could. its not like you ever mean to fall for someone like that, she was just what i wanted, she just never told me that. i was just a girl and so was she, she was a blood red in the clothes she wore, silk laid so gently on her skin it reeked of a drunk innocence. the diamonds on her neck covering bruises that i still found goddamn mesmerizing. 

and in the beginning you could take her for godly, unmistakably so, the power in the softness of her voice, admittedly off putting, did not disorient me. i felt myself drowning in her, she was never unforgiving. no no, she was something else entirely. she made a mess out of you but she still had control over your each and every move. subtlety that could be mistaken for grace. her nature was evocative, her smile encapsulating the same feeling dead men felt to feel alive. yet still, filled with inure. exhaustion. but the kind you liked. yes she was the kind you just craved, every inch of your skin burning with need. 

but like i said, in that same sense, she was ephemral. the sweetness only last for the the second you bit the fruit so to speak, so when things fell apart and her nailmarks became claws, it didnt seem unbefitting. she knew the role well, both were her, the path she chose however was what led to the feeling of betrayal. i sensed shame in her, but she it , i know she did. 

She was a beautiful woman, devilishly so. I dont know what i expected, it just, wasnt this. 

Never did I expect this. 

act i

i will re-write the configuration of the stars, 

create lighthouses out of each, make them of sugar and not gas

let them sustain life among light 

i will create moons like emolients on harshness to the sky 

may i bless you with galaxies reachable in the mind and eye 

act ii

mother earth, i will recreate your beautiful figure once more 

return of the demure oceans, 

the vivacious waves and there crashing among the dulcet sand 

i shall call the angels to carve you like chatoyant

conflate the colors of the sunset once more, and plant roots in the curves of your earth 

i will recreate heat of your center, and women will be named after you because of it 

i will allow you the most blooming flowers, made of gossamer thread and sunlight 

may i bless you with creatures to take care of you 

act iii 

creation, 

i will mold you out of clay and stardust 

infuse your colors with the pigments like paints

all eyes and all color 

i will create your hair out of gossamer like flowers 

allow roots to grow from your insides, and create your body garden 

your mind will be as brilliant, but far more 

as you can form creation from thoughts 

and the universe will be recreated once more

Pending drafts 

Rewritten proverbs 

Open mouth kisses to the back of the pen 

Solitude in its wake 

Endeared by something we can't see

Prose

by the grace of gods call, the scarlet colored skies sweeping beneath the trees shadows. 

from the grace of gods call, a voice like a crashing of waves 

bones that riddle with anxious, anxiously awaiting us 

we are silenced by trapped tongues and will 

we are silenced by cowardice 

we stare in the unknown like a tunnel with no forseeable ending 

turn our backs to the forest fire  

let the flames rise until they consume us

and by then it is too late to save ourselves from the ashes 

cowardice is a strange thing 

we say we want adventure, yet we don't take risks 

say we want to become someone, but don't do anything worth speaking of 

cowardice, the scarlet letter of our internal conscious 

sometimes this world will condemn you for being a coward in the right 

than a brave man in the wrong.

quiet.

a lonely, mournful silence.

reaping through closed doors

a whimsical violence

thunderstorms, sermons, old wedding rings

the macabre speaks

he stands solemnly

eyes wide, hands steady on his own epitaph

the ghost speaks

voice laced with aching fears, drowned out by the rain

he keeps calling to you

you wonder what he's trying to say

your face curling in confusion

panic.

panic consumes him, he's screaming but nothing comes out

he tries again 

run, run, run 

panic 

running, padding on the floor 

hands on the doorknob 

it's locked 

and you scream, but no one hears you, the rain drowns out the ache in your voice 

and there he is 

ghost boy 

with his dead eyes

standing outside, with the keys

he drops them

pities you at glance

and leaves with no return

panic. panic. panic 

cold sweat forms and there you are

the room is covered in blood, but you remain unphased 

there are corpses covering the floors and you do not flinch 

the sound of children laughing and screaming fill the air but there is nothing more terrifying than dingy silence so you don't react 

suddenly, she's there. 

the girl with the sweet tongue and eyes 

her hands hold fruit but she becomes Goliath at sound of 3 words 

ready to destroy 

her fingers are ghostly, they reach out to touch your skin like they had so many times before 

no words 

she speaks to you, but you can't seem to hear her and she grins like that was the point 

suddenly, there are ropes tugging at your skin 

flashes come from every angle 

questions tug at your eardrums 

why didn't you, why did you, who are you, 

who made you this way? 

And suddenly you jump between each of your failures 

she sits there and laughs, as you feel disgust run through you 

failure, failure, failure

like a broken sermon 

slut, failure, disappointment 

war cries of old lover tear through your skin 

how could you leave them that way 

panic. panic. panic. 

you wake up, the cold glass of water near the nightstand shaking due to your vision 

you tread lightly downstairs 

she's there, cooking breakfast and smiling 

you flinch 

she smiles at you, kissing your cheek, moving on

"You're up late" 

"Bad dream"

"Oh? Tell me about it"