There is a vanity in hollow things.

They have no depth, no feeling, no life.

Yet we clamor to own them, possess them.

Shiny casings hide empty beginnings,

Glossy finishes to keep us from bare innards.

A drained cup,

An empty chest,

A barren notebook.

Valuables without value, gazing at the void.

Collecting dust, promises of use unkept.

The lady seeks empty things, hoards them.

Her wealth keeps them hollow and aching.

Purse filled, head empty, hearts that echo.

Be wary of the ladies, for they spend

So much time hoarding they have no soul.

The thief is smarter, collecting already

Filled possessions, leeching off the worlds;

Not created by him but harvested for life.

He lives perpetually starving, but it's better

Than mere survival, he at least is alive.

The dreamer is rare, prized and unpossessed.

They create, fill hollow things with purpose.

Brimming with life, wild with a need to exist.

Ladies drown, thieves starve, dreamers thrive,

Kings and Queens of both world and void.

I am scared-no, terrified-of

Being known, understood

Scared of letting someone else

Assign me labels, put me

In a box and they think

They have me figured out.

They have no idea,

Can't see me for who I am

Because I keep throwing on masks.

Definition is killing,

With every part of me they see,

I am placed in a cage of my own doing

To be known is a sickness

Slowly killing, but to change,

Defy their expectations of me?

I might as well tie the noose.

So I stay unknown, isolated

Hiding in plain sight, and I

Forget what it means to be loved.

Wake up. There's work to be done.

Arrive, take a seat, shut up.

Listen and obey,

Don't question a thing.

They're shooting your family

Murdered in cold blood

But the only name you're told

Is of a killer, misunderstood

Her skirt was too short,

He should've known better,

Blame the victim, find a cause

Excuse the killer, not a villain.

Why are you angry?

At least you're still alive

It's not our fault they're dead

We didn't pull the trigger.

It's not our fault;

We gave you the noose,

Gave you those bullets,

But we never killed you.

You're tired, oh so tired

Death at every corner,

Excuses powdered on

A foundation of lies.

Can you even list

All the deaths, all the funerals?

Can you even begin

To try to recover yet again?

Words like weapons

Cutting you too deep

They gag you, silenced

No outlet, no haven, no release

Can't even comprehend

How this happened yet again

When will they learn?

When will it have been enough?

Never, they never

Understand, never open

Their eyes, forever blind

Ignorance. Is. Bliss.

Running in circles

Rates in a cage

Too stupid to break the cycle

Too selfish to try.

    Breathe. Stretch. Begin. Roll the head. A single hand reaches. It doesn’t grasp anything. The head tilts. Blinks. Two arms pushing upward. Chest forward, legs buckling to catch the body. Up, up, til the legs can support the rest without the arms. Look forward, blankly. Nothing there. Shake the head irritably, dislodge those pesky thoughts. Like gnats, buzzing in the brain.

    Push outward. Hit something. Bars. This is a cage. The only out is in front. Walk toward it. A white light, white noise, fills the area. Can’t think, only breathe. Silence everywhere. There is an ocean, waves crashing noisily. Don’t hear anything. Feet push forward, relentlessly.

    Water lapping hungrily at toes, pulling inward. Powerless to escape, cages surround. Pursuing freedom. Reach forward, nothing there. Crash to knees, bow the head. Arms pull together, clutching at air. A single tear rolls down, tracing an invisible path.

    The tide get higher, waves crashing against bloody knees, stinging when the salt seeps in. Pounding on bruises yellowed with time, a stomach too hollow to do anything but ache dully. It would be easy, so easy to just end it now. Nothing and no one left to say goodbye to.

    One last desperate gesture, stand up. Futile, meaningless. Stare out with defiance against the ocean. Don’t keep going forward. Pound on the bars of the cage, look for an escape. There is none to be found. Keep trying. Useless.

    Who locked this cage? Who created it? Does it matter? Not anymore.

    The tide continues to roll in, almost at chest level. Old scars itch when they get wet. Give up, give in. No point in fighting what can not be controlled. Might as well embrace it. Take one step forward, two. Don’t fall down, just keep walking. The water reaches the chin, the tightly shut mouth. A scream is building up, tugging on the last few wisps of air stuck in tired lungs. But when the mouth opens, only water flows in. The scream dies a silent death, broken by the sea.

    Without air, without hope, the body starts to crumple. Fists clutch at the sandy floor, hoping that by holding on to something they might... survive? The surface is only a few feet away, but each foot is a mile down here. Brain starts to become fuzzy, desperate for something it can’t have. Lungs are crying out for relief, feet are pounding, the whole body seems to be fighting with a terrible defiance.

    Except for the heart. The lonely heart, content, calm to pursue this path to its inevitable closure. Peaceful, perhaps overly so. The heart has never fit in, never got along with anyone or anything. Always searching for... something. Never finding it.

    It has finally been found.

    The ocean crashes again. Somehow, the fists are dislodged, the body sent surging upward toward the surface by pure chance. Air seeps into the nose, and the lungs are almost confused as to what to do with this new life. A gasp, a scream, a shout into the abyss. The heart is the only thing that does not rejoice at this sudden second chance.

Arms thrash instinctively, pulling toward the now distant shore. The ocean is both a help and a hinderance, pushing the body forward, and then pulling back again. Mocking. Almost there, almost to land, and then back into the sea again.

    At last! Feet touch down, finally on the ground again. Almost there, almost free. The cage is still there, still surrounding. But it is no longer locked, sealed shut.

Push against the cage. It swings open on an invisible hinge, crumbling into nothing but dust and broken dreams. Take the first step outward, into that terrible unknown which all secretly fear. A second step, and then a third. Completely free of the cage.

    This is a strange freedom, turned sour with fear and bitter with longing. Break into a run, flee the cage, howl in anger at the unjustness of it all. There is nowhere to run to.

Alone, alone on this beach, alone in this world. Where is everyone else? Is there anyone else anymore? Such a lonely, lonely place to be.

    Turn back. Stand still. The sun is setting, bleeding red into the sea. Pinks and oranges shimmer in the sky, but the eyes are only willing to see the red, bloody and hateful. The heart beats angrily, to the tune of the setting sun.

    Come back, come back. Embrace this end, accept it. Already did, once before. Surely the second time around it will actually end.

    Snarl, break the bonds. Face away from the ocean, toward the emptiness, toward the loneliness, toward life and all of its horrifying failures. Hands clenched into furious fists, toes curling with hatred. This world is undeserving, unwelcoming, unloving. Why stay?

    There is a freedom offered, by both paths. One is calling sweetly, promises of eternal peace dripping with honied words. The other is a snarling beast, honest in its chaos, unapologetic in its fury. All too often, the most beautiful beginnings end in misery. At least the miserable beginnings are honest.

    A smile twitches, pulling up the corners of chapped lips. Choose, one way or the other. Follow it. To its end, bitter and sweet, terrifying and beautiful, hot with fury and cold with longing. Escape the cage, find the freedom that never was and never will be.

    Breathe.

It takes the clouds

To remind the sun just how bright

It can shine for us

And when the rain falls, it's

Only to remind the dawn

That blue skies are masterpieces

Too

Without the gray,

Colors wouldn't exist

Without the dark there could be

No light to beckon us free

Tunnels only get to end

When they have a beginning

Too

Gravity why must you

Bring me down, balance me out

Symmetry that I'd rather do

Without, forgetting the rules

Pairs can't be made of ones

Every partner has another

Too

On a journey, no one remembers

The flatlands, smooth roads

Hills beckon us, calling boldly

Begging us to find their peaks

As the valleys whisper softly

A siren's call to find their depths

Too.

Superlatives describe the years

Hundreds redone to showcase

Only the extreme, the audacity m

Of those who never find peace

Never spotlight those quiet

Lullabies, they slip on by

Too

Oh story why must you

Turn the pages, bind the covers

A sentence can only begin

When the last one ends

No middle can exist

Without a beginning and end

Too

Life only matters because it

Ends, and immortal would

Be less than nothing, time

Meaningless when infinite

For life to be worth living

Deaths must play its role

Too

No ifs, ands, or buts

Conjunctions are warnings

Continuing after the end, a

Dangerous game, taunting,

Promising the possibility of

Everlasting middles, they'll finish

Too

At least at the finish

One constant must be true

After this last ending,

There will be a new beginning

Too.

Can someone explain to me why

The biggest lie to tell is I'm fine

And why my best friends tell me

Daily that they feel like dying

How did it get so far?

How did we all fall apart?

Our parents say we're crazy

And our teachers call us lazy

But we cry ourselves to sleep

Over our classes and our GPAs

And don't stop to think about our wrists

Bloody from trying to get away

This ink is black

But blood runs red

And I no longer know

What fills my head

I hate this, I hate this, I hate this

Am I just being over dramatic?

Surely this can't be what

Life is actually like

Except it is

My shaking hands prove it

And if they didn't

Your scars surely would

This blood is red

But ink runs black

And I don't know

The color of these words.

Yellow roses are for friendship

Hand them out by the dozens

Give all your friends a bouquet

You have plenty to give away

Yellow roses are for friendship

Put them in pretty glass vases

Water them every day, every night

It doesn't take much to care for them

Yellow roses are for friendship

It's okay if they start to wilt

All they need is a little extra water

A little more love and care

Yellow roses are for friendship

Their petals are falling off

Thorns pricking all who come close

Golden yellow fading to sickly brown

Yellow roses are for friendship

They are decaying, rotting, dying

No one wants to say anything

Politely glance at a silver bin

Yellow roses are for friendship

A dozen discarded in the waste

To be picked up Thursday morning

We decide to stop pretending

Yellow roses are for friendship

Too bad flowers are temporary.