Why Do I Bother

Alienating everyone I know,

Seems to be the only thing I do well,

I always hurt them just so,

For what reason I can never tell.

Cheeks sticky with tears,

Heart bending with blades,

How do I do this for so many years?

Wherever I am pain follows in spades.

Why do I even bother?

Alone I must be destined for,

For I always seem to hover,

Desperately wanting more.

Bottom lip trembles,

Breathing quickens,

I should just give up

What else do I have anyway.