Restraint

I was 11. 

I knew just enough to know better

With antics and mischief that made me 

The pride of my classmates 

And the misery of my teachers. 

My parents were arguing that night in front of the TV

With a half-eaten pizza on the counter 

Next to an empty bottle. 

The scene was set as it always was these days. 

This time, the argument didn't end with broken plates and raised voices

But my dad slamming the front door and my mom's tears on the carpet. 

I somehow knew that he wasn't coming back. 

Hating him would have been so easy. 

Unleashing my anger on him felt so natural, so right, so fitting. 

I felt it grow in me, a tiger growling and scratching at the bars of its cage. 

But I knew I had to forgive and move on 

Even though that sentence sounded as impossible then as it does now. 

But for my future 

For my sanity 

For my mom 

I had to make a choice.