You’re My Smile

You are never not in my mind. 

I see you everyday

everywhere I look. 

I have tried to forget you

so I wouldn't be there

to weigh you down

so you could live your dream

But everyday

You're in my head

And I know I'll never forget you

Because you can't forget the ones you love

When I talk to you I can see 

the future. 

But that future changes drastically

Depending on your mood. 

Sometimes I see

the white picket fence

with kids and ourselves

happy at the end of a long journey

Other times I see myself

sitting in a straight jacket

in a padded room 

left to rot

Both futures have me

banging my head against a wall occasionally

but god damn it

Both have me smiling just as hard.

But the more we talk

the more you make it clear

that you can't love me anymore

and the padded room 

seems more and more 

certain.

And when the time comes

I'll sit in that padded room

banging my head against the wall

staring at the door

waiting for you to open it

And the smile will remain on my face

because I know I'll always have you in my mind

Because I love you

And not by choice.