Had.

I've been happy

and I've felt all else other than it

and I've had focus

and I know what it's to have none anymore

and when people tell me upon seeing me

they see the slightest sliver of potential

all I want to do is tear and search my depths

to find and replace myself with

this person with the promise of a future

and I used to express and vent and rant

and I can't anymore

and I feel weighed down

by all that I want to say

but seem to not be able to say anymore

like a clueless helpless child

who needs her mama

and thoughts come and go

words appear, disappear

while motivation and I wait to greet one another

and I just wish to get to the person

you force yourself to see in me.