I’m a dementia patient caught in a never ending loop of a painful existence

I’m experiencing a complete metal collapse

My whole mind has unravelled and shattered into a thousand tiny pieces

All screaming for their voice to be heard each one stabbing my heart, soul and existence with its Icy grip

Tugging at my heart pulling out all the pain and fear turning it into a weapon to use against me

I can’t trust my mind

My

Heart

My soul

Who or what do I trust

Nothing.

What am I

I exist is the only truth

I feel is another

Pain and misery and hatred a love for all things wrong

Disturbed and ego centric patterns manipulate my mind

I look at those normal and see they are not normal but disturbed

They ignore the fabric of existence it’s dread and hatred it’s pain and intolerance but I do not brag or boast

I am cursed with the gift of not being able to ignore

I listen and listen

I exist for my own torture

I exist for pain

Miserable agonising pain

I cannot even choose my own way out

I’m tempted by normalcy and happiness

Two things I know never to come

But I am tempted by them still