daddy issues

i pretend that it doesn’t effect me

that i was never wanted by my father

as if to him

i was merely a thought

but never a feeling

my mother tried her best

to give me more than enough love

but even her extra hugs

and kisses could not make up

for the absence of a second parent

twenty-one years have passed

since the day i was born, with only

one signature on my birth

certificate, and yet the feeling

of something missing has never left

why are you afraid, he asks

but how do i tell him

that i fear i won’t be able to

accept his love

if i never got to except

my fathers

how do i explain

that i’m terrified that

i am always going to hurt, as

if nothing could

ever heal the hole in

my heart that his love was

supposed to fill

how do i confess that

i’m scared that one day, he

too will leave

and I’ll have to live

with the abandonment of another