I am afraid

because there are some things

simply beyond my control.

i have to trust my instincts

to make the right choice,

leaving the rest up to chance.

I am afraid

because I do not trust

my instincts nor my emotions.

an endless cycle of doubt,

I find myself questioning everything,

from my reactions to my personality,

from the words people tell me to the actions they show me,

I question everything.

it’s not like I want

to doubt everyone in my life

who shows me affection,

who proves to be a friend,

who shows me love,

who gives me hope,

but that’s just how my brain works.

doubt is why I am afraid,

it turns everyone against me,

changing my dreams into nightmares,

stuck in my head.