A Chat With Life

Life: Here are some lemons for you.

Me: You can keep your lemons.

Life: But... but, don't you want to make lemonade?

Me: Not especially. Besides I don't like it when my lips pucker.

Life: So then, you don't want to kiss me?

Me: What! Kiss you? You have got to be joking!

Life: But you just said your lips pucker.

Me: Yeah, but not in a good way. They make my face wrinkly and weird looking.

Life: That's a shame. You do know lemons are healthy for you.

Me: See, that's the problem. Healthy things will kill me.

Life: I don't understand. Please explain.

Me: I've been eating all the wrong foods for years, drink four gallons of Pepsi a week.

Life: Wow! That much?

Me: Yes, and I never felt better. Why don't you just keep the lemons for yourself?

Life: I couldn't do that.

Me: Why not?

Life: They make life look ugly and wrinkly.

Me: (Just rolls my eyes.)